How does my garden grow?

Lushly. I even have some blossoms, suggesting that some of my veggies may in fact bear fruit sometime before the frost hits. Because, you know, late July is the best time to not even have immature fruit yet. *sigh*

The Infanta and the Garden

Yet another album starring the lovely Infanta. The first ten pictures were taken last week(?) while my mom was here; you can get an idea of the monster hill of pumpkins, reaching out to grab the toddler innocently pulling bean leaves. The latter portion were taken yesterday. Josh took Herself with him while he turned on the sprinkler, and then came and asked for the camera. Most of them were taken in our rather jungle-ish back yard, but the last several are in the front, as the Infanta reacts to the sprinkler spray. She's just so dratted photogenic...

I keep meaning to take and post some pictures of the garden itself, especially as it's so very... verdant right now, but I just keep getting distracted by shiny things, or a certain fussy toddler, or whatever. Maybe tomorrow morning. It's supposed to get very hot indeed in the next few days, so we'll be hunkering down in survival mode, and searching for air conditioning to borrow.

And for all you Ravelers - the voting for Dye For Glory is open! Be sure to go cast your ballots. I wouldn't want to influence you unfairly (oh, no, never), but especially check out the entries from our local Three Fates Knitting (yes, that's a totally unpaid-for ad on the left there, because she's my good friend and dyes awesomely) and Dicentra Designs. Between the two of them, they have entries in nearly every division!

We Have a First Word!

"Cat".

If you've been following along on the Infanta's obsession with felines (including her major motivation for becoming mobile), this will come as no surprise at all.

She's been working on words for about a month now; in fact, as long as she's been really walking - to the day, even. We've had assorted variations of something that sounds a lot like "light", and she says "hi" appropriately (with the cutest little wave EVAR), and she signs "more" (which I think she thinks means food) and sometimes "nurse" (we use the sign for "milk" to mean breastfeeding, because the official sign for nursing is... NSFW), but she's really pulled it together in the last few days with "cat". She even points towards places where the cats are known to lurk - even if you can't see into those spots from where we are - and says it. And then this evening, as she and Daddy were taking me off to knitting, she was pointing at everything and calling it all "cat".

Well, she's also mastered "dada", and she's working hard on "mama", but they don't seem to count those at the doctor's office. The signs they do count, however. Thirteen and a half, almost fourteen months, and she can say 4 words correctly. Not bad, not bad...

My Current Wallpaper

Which proves that the Infanta is indeed my daughter: yum, books!

My mother and brother headed home this morning. They were here for two weeks, which was both too long and not long enough. Miss you guys!

More Linkies

Totally friggin' amazing birth story!

Also, some of the knitting I've been up to lately...

So totally true.

Ohmygooses. Go check it out. Not that I know from the drugs end... but I was high on the Infanta's birth for two months, and didn't even know it until I was easing off.

Silver Falls Picnic

We took a trip to Silver Falls State Park yesterday. We had several purposes; a picnic, checking cell reception there (which is nil), and showing my mom and little brother Mithrilwood. I made sure to bring swim clothes for the Infanta, so that she could go play in the stream that runs by the picnic area. It ended up being colder than she's used to water being, so she didn't much like it after she tipped over face-first, but until then she had a grand time!

Here's the day's photoshoot; I handed the camera to Josh, since he's far better with a camera than I am.

Silver Falls

Monday Night Musings

Posting just to post, more or less. I'm sitting here, tired after a busy but fun weekend, wondering why I'm not in bed, snatching a few hours' rest before my mom and little brother arrive. They didn't leave the Bay Area until mid afternoon, so we don't expect them on our doorstep until after midnight... It's going to be a long night. I am really looking forward to seeing my mom and brother, though!

The Infanta is clearly teething; I can see her still-missing lower incisors lurking just below the surface, just waiting to cut through and damage my poor, innocent nipples. Such is motherhood, I suppose.

I should sign off here, collect my now-wakeful offspring, and drag Josh into the bathroom to cut his hair (sounds kinky, but it's really not).

Sheesh!

Honest, this isn't turning into a Thursday and Sunday blog! It just looks like it.

I recently decided that it was time and past to teach the Infanta some nursing manners. She's been kicking and wiggling a lot while nursing, and I've gotten tired of it. So, when she's on teh bewb but not sitting still, I will detach her and set her down, even if she's in the middle of a let-down (she's usually concentrating on eating at that moment, but there have been times..), with the admonition that she must behave herself and sit quietly while nursing. A little while ago, I picked her up to nurse, and she happily latched on, but was kicking very strongly, so I set her down. And she screamed!! She sobbed and wailed and lay on the floor for a good five minutes while I went about my business (I have a pair of sample socks I'm knitting for a friend's yarn dyeing business), and after a while, when she'd quieted a little, I
picked her up again, gave her some teething tablets, and we nursed more less quietly.

We're pretty sure she's in pain from something today, though, although we disagree on whether it's teething or gas. Either way, it's making her fussy and sleep-resistant!

Light of my life

I was taking pictures of a current sock project (which I need to frog and start over due to gauge issues, sigh), and looked over to see this beauty. Since pictures of that smile are few and far between, I couldn't not take a few. This one's even not blurry!

In the good old Summertime

She walks!



She discovers the fan!



I discovered the pleasures of making freezer jam a few weeks ago. Mash up the fruit, mix it with sugar and (special, already mixed) freezer jam pectin, ladle into jars, pop in the freezer, enjoy at leisure. Shown above are 5 1/2 jars of raspberry-blackberry jam, potted just moments before. When I finish this post, they will supposedly have thickened enough to go into the freezer.

There has been knitting. There has been finishing! I even have photos!! But I've only posted them to Ravelry so far. Maybe I'll post them tomorrow, if I manage to blog. :)

Has it really been since Thursday?

I guess it has. Rest assured, life has improved since that very dreary post. Among other details, the Infanta is walking more than crawling. That is, she's at about 60% walking, 40% crawling; I think we can say that "she's walking" now.

But I'm posting because I found this tidbit through my Reader just now. I like this blog a lot, by the way; I don't agree with all of her politics (because she's very anti-choice, and I'm, well, very pro-choice), but in general she has a lot of really smart things to say. All of you third trimester mamas take heart!

Bleh.

First things: yes, Karinda, the toddler muumuus do match, and yes, we did coordinate their wearing ahead of time. Matching outfits for the girls was actually Bethany's birthday present to us/the Infanta/the girls. The Infanta isn't yet quite old enough to care about it so much, but boy does it ever make the Hurricane's day...

This has been kind of an ucky day. Josh and I had a teeny tiny tiff about something so insignificant I don't even remember what it was, except that it left me a bit grumpy... and then grumpy morphed into a major (for me) anxiety attack. I spent the anxious energy doing housework, but didn't quite realize what I was doing until I'd scrubbed my rolling pin - mind you, I've been avoiding dealing with the cookie dough caked on it since before Christmas. Soon after, the Infanta demanded to be nursed, and fell asleep... quite normal for her, but what wasn't normal was that with the anxiety attack going on, her nursing right then was making my skin crawl. I sucked it up long enough for her to be sound asleep, then laid her in her crib, and came back out to nap on the couch. She slept almost two and a half hours, and crawled out of the bedroom looking groggy; I dozed and napped for an hour or so and felt much, much better. Bless Josh for providing lunch and replacing the dishwasher detergent!

I'm still pretty down and out, and really feeling bad, because I'm kinda paralyzed, but supposed to be making a poster about birth in the Netherlands... but not having luck finding information, and feeling guilty about having left it to the last minute, and that's making me more down, and therefore more paralyzed... I could swear I didn't skip my brain meds, but why else am I so randomly off my stride? Seriously, I'm down enough right now that I don't much want to knit or read. *sigh*

Teething, Part next

We've got a lot of "nexts" going on right now, and they're all upping the ante. As with the walking, so the teething...

Herself has had six teeth for several months now, and she's more or less figured out how to use them (usually only accidentally on Mama). I've been dreading the return of full-fledged teething, but it's gotten lost behind other concerns... mostly. However, Mademoiselle McFusspot has been showing definite signs of teething again for a couple of weeks, all of which got easily confused with symptoms of the ear infections she had earlier in the month.

Today, after a lovely outing to the Wednesday Market with Bethany, her mom, and the Hurricane (the above picture wasn't taken today, but the toddler muumuu brigade was in full force), we came home and the Infanta started SCREAMING!!!! Full on, blood-curdling, who's-torturing-this-kid screams, with no obvious cause, and no easy remedy. No obvious trigger, just playing happily, and then BAM! A couple of frantic advice nurse conversations and teething tablets later, it's apparently that dreaded scourge teething come back to haunt us. We can see her two missing incisors just below the surface, but what's causing the pain is probably the swollen bumps indicating molars and canines.

And it's a week to payday and our supplies of Children's Motrin are running low.

We're Doomed!!! (part next)

So the Infanta is *this close* to walking for serious. Today at Gramma and Grampa's she spent more time on her feet than her knees (that could sound really bad out of context). This time next week maybe? Certainly by the time Gran's here in about two weeks...

A point I've been anting to make for a while...

...said brilliantly at the Unnecesarean.

Father's Day

Dear Josh: I love you very much. You are a fantastic father, and an amazing co-parent. Even when we disagree on parenting philosophy, you graciously defer to me and support my methods. You are also an excellent and considerate husband; you make me aspire to be a worthy wife to you.

~Katie



Father's Day dessert: strawberry shortcake made with berries from my MIL's garden.

Black Sheep 2009

I finally made it to the famous Black Sheep Gathering! I went with a couple of friends from my local knitting group and assorted spouses and offspring; Snarfy and Mia and I (and the Infanta and Snarfy's boys and husband) carpooled down, and met some other friends there, including Stephania and her husband and houseguest.

I was surprised to find that this year,at least, BSG was actually smaller than Oregon Flock and Fiber Festival; from everything I've heard, I expected it to be bigger. Of course, I didn't check out the wool show, or take any classes...

I also didn't take nearly as many pictures as I wanted. Before lunch, I was a woman on a mission: I had $20, and I wanted to find a new spindle, a smallish one, and maybe a little roving to spin on it. I did finally find a spindle, and I had enough left over to buy a single ounce of merino roving - and I even got a chance to spin a little of it! After lunch, we went and visited the sheep again, and this time I had my camera out. I'm not skilled enough with a camera to take exactly the pictures I'd like, but I hope I captured at least some of the Infanta's delight and utter fascination with the big furries!

Black Sheep 2009

I've been slacking with the blogging lately. So easy to let it fall by the wayside when life gets rough, and then so hard to get back into the habit...

Complete denial?!

The Yarn Harlot was taking suggestions for dorky shows to accompany endless garter stitch today; a fair number of commenters were claiming that Firefly and Torchwood aren't dorky. Scroll down to check the comments. Um, either these folks are so dork core that they don't realize it, or they're in complete and total denial. Everyone in my living room at the moment is voting for the latter.

Hot stuff!

I haven't updated as much recently, but life has been pretty rough, not leaving much time for frills like blogging. And then a bloggable moment happens, and I have to capture it, or regret it forever.



The Infanta ha been somewhat slow to be interested in solid foods. We've been offering her bits of this and that off our plates since she was around 5 months, but she's never been very interested. Lately, however, she's really taking off with the solids, in some very surprising ways. For example, the last few times we've had chili, she's hung around our knees begging for her share (I admit it, we eat in the living room more often than at the table - but we do eat together!).

Tonight I made curry. I make curry probably a couple of times a month, usually with a favorite curry paste - we get it mild, not being much on spicy-hot foods generally. Tonight, I used a jar of curry paste I found somewhat randomly at WinCo, and it turned out quite a bit spicier than usual; not bad (although my mom couldn't eat it), just enough to let you know you're alive. And to reach for the rice and chai. Now, we have noticed on other occasions that the Infanta will eat rice, particularly with gravy from chili or curry or the like mixed in, so it wasn't a huge surprise when she indicated that she wanted some out of our bowls. Usually, though, she's been satisfied with a taste, and then moves on to whatever shiny is next. This time? A taste. Then another. Then, while I was in the kitchen starting a pot of chai, Daddy asks me to bring out a spoon - she's practically licking it off the table. With Mama-wisdom, I brought not only a spoon, but also a bowl of her very own, and filled it with a good couple of tablespoonsful of rice-with-curry-gravy out of my own bowl... and she ate it. All but a couple of teaspoonfuls. All together, she probably ate a good quarter cup of rice and curry gravy. Did I mention it was spicier than our usual? Oh, and she was so excited about eating that she was actually going out of her way to take unsupported steps to get to it.

Someone tell me that mine isn't the only kid that prefers savory over sweet foods?

The Infanta's Party

The Infanta's First Birthday Party

Yes,it was almost a week ago now. What can I say,it's been a rough week.

As usual, click on the album. I didn't get comments on the pictures up yet; I may this weekend, or I may not. Don't hold your breaths, though!

eta: Did what I could to fix the link issue.

Lifting the silence

Yesterday's memorial for Baby P was hard, but beautiful. Bethany has spoken better about it than I can, but she is a writer, after all - at least, a more practiced one than I.

I wasn't going to go; I'd only met C once before. But she wrote something in sympathy for my miscarriage that helped the most of what anyone said, and so I felt that I should be there, to lend what support my presence would bring. C said she was glad I came.

I was glad I went: I got to cry. I hadn't yet been able to cry for my own loss; I can't when I'm on duty, and a mom with a toddler is always on duty. So I left the Infanta at home, and joined this amazing community in mourning. And I cried. I cried for Baby P; I cried for C, and for her family; I cried for me, and I cried for my own babe-not-to-be. I'm still very sad today, and weepy here and there. I keep remembering what one of the speakers said: that in the midst of everything else, there is still love. There is always love. And the remembrance makes me want to cry more, but because the thought helps me release my grief, not because it makes me more upset.

There is still love.

How do I find the words?

C, a woman of my acquaintance and a member of one of the larger mom's groups I'm a part of, lost her baby during birth last night. I don't know the full story, and probably may never, because I do not know C well, but I understand that it was something to do with a last-minute complication. Yes, I'm being deliberately vague.

I miscarried last month, sure, but I didn't know I was pregnant until I was already miscarrying. It was hard, I'm still mourning, but for me the worst part was just not knowing when the physical process would be done so I could go back to living. To carry a baby for over nine months, to love her, to bond with her, name her, to have a shower and prepare an older sibling; to labor with her, and then lose her literally as she is being born... I wouldn't even know where to begin to deal with this.

Please pray for C, for her husband and daughter M, and for her midwives Pam and Emily and doula Katie (not me), and for Baby P, who could not stay with us.

Better Than a Vegas Show

This is Josh's evening to go gaming, so I started the artichokes steaming at 3:30, so that we could sit down and eat together before he left. He got home around 4; we were idly checking our email when we discovered a TORNADO WARNING!!!!111eleven And then the lightning started. And then the thunder! And then the sky opened up!!!!111eleventy-one!!! It seemed almost Biblical, but really was just a good summer storm.

So, we did what any right-minded geek would do: we unplugged the computers from the wall sockets, and then we took our dinners out and sat on the porch to enjoy the show Nature provided. The big part of the thunderstorm lasted just long enough for us to enjoy our artichokes, and eased up with just enough time for Josh to plug the router and modem back in before heading out. It's like we scheduled it or something. ;)

As I type, it's still raining, with occasional rumbles, but nothing more right on top of us. Actually, it's dark enough, and my day started early enough (thanks to a certain toddler) that I'm quite surprised it's not yet 6!

Random Tuesday

It's been warm and quite humid here the last day or two; my feeling is that if I wanted to live in weather like this, I'd have moved to Austin! Which, clearly, I didn't.

I feel bad for not having taken many pictures of the Infanta recently. She is growing and changing so very fast... I should record it better. But mostly lately, I'm too busy trying to keep up with her (or keep her out of something dangerous, or getting her to nap) to even think of the camera!

We actually got some gaming in this evening! And my characters weren't useless! Yay!

Time to get Herself to bed.

One Year

To go from this...



To this. You've come a long way, baby girl!

Birth story here; I've been thinking about the whole process in the last day or so, reliving the experience. Last night, while enduring coughing spasms (it's just a lingering cold/cough, nothing more, thankfully), I was reflecting that I was glad I wasn't in labor, as I was a year ago - at least I knew I'd sleep as soon as the cough syrup kicked in! As much as I am looking forward to my next pregnancy and birth, I still savor the memories of my first.. and enjoy every day I get to watch the Infanta grow and develop. Parenting is work, but it's a privilege, too!

Things you think about

...when it's 4:30 AM and your coughing is keeping you awake after a nursing session.

Like: which of these is inherently sillier?

This first is the song only. I heard it first on an acquaintance's blog (which I would link to, but it appears she's gone private) a few weeks ago, and then again while I was sitting at Jamba Juice yesterday. This whole thing came up because I woke up with it stuck in my head.



And I can't find the second video I wanted! I direct your attention, gentles all, to the scene in Muppet Treasure Island where the native pigs dance around the stake to which our heroes are tied, singing an eerie chant which eventually resolves into "Boom Shaka Laka Laka".

As I was contemplating the contrast, a third example occurred to me; again, I couldn't find a video clip. On an episode of Babylon 5, Commander Ivanova is told to show a random ambassador around the station and generally be a good host. It eventually turns out that part of what this ambassador considers good hospitality includes participating in a mating ritual. Naturally taken aback by this request, the Commander thinks quickly and does a cheerleader-like dance while chanting Boom Shaka Laka Laka, culminating in orgasmic sighs. The ambassador, not impressed, accepts the dance, but says that when she visits his world, they'll do it "his way". Forgive me if I have details off; I saw the episode fifteen or so years ago, and a quick scan of the episode summaries on Wikipedia showed no obvious candidates.

Anyway. Back to bed.

Not the workout I was looking for.

Tomorrow it will be a week that I'd had this ruddy cold. It began with a cough and a sore throat in the night, and those two symptoms haven't budged. Today I've been coughing so much that this evening, coughing leaves me in real pain from my poor, abused abs. I mean, I know I'm not in great shape, but really! And the coughing hasn't eased a bit. Today's addition to the whole mess is a nose that runs worse than a toddler's; it's so sore at this point that I'm beginning to expect to see blood whenever I apply tissue (which is frequently). I'm sick enough that I even cancelled The Infanta's birthday party this weekend! Fear not, it has merely been rescheduled, and I will be handing Josh the camera, for plenty of good pictures of the event.

The Infanta is also afflicted with it, at least to some degree. She coughs a little, her nose is runny (although less so than mine), and her voice is a bit hoarse. Otherwise, she's fine so far. This is probably a good thing, as she has her one year checkup tomorrow. I expect the doctor to offer sage advice about infant cold care, the which I will likely nod and smile at. But maybe there will be something in what she says that will be useful, so I won't ignore it completely. This visit, as far as I'm concerned, is almost purely about finding out those important statistics of height and weight. I do hope that my cough calms down overnight; I hate it when I'm in with a healthy baby and the nurses all offer me help!

Will Ceases Never Wonder

Just a short post, it's time and past to get the Infanta to bed. But she's making astonishing strides - leaps and bounds, even! - towards walking unassisted. She's standing spontaneously, unsupported, and unassisted, and not simply toppling when she can't maintain the pose. She will often put a hand out and lean on a nearby object, or if none is handy, sit in stages rather than just falling on her butt. Just a few minutes ago, excited to share a toy with me, she even took an unsupported step between the nearest piece of furniture and the couch where I was sitting!

I keep saying this, but it hasn't stopped being true. We're doomed!

Sick and Tired

So over the weekend, that cough and sore throat turned into a cough and laryngitis. I had a lovely time knitting with the ladies on Sunday anyway... all the chatting did not help my voice, though, and yesterday I was left nearly speechless. I was also a bit feverish towards evening; not fun. Today my voice is a bit better, but I have a lot of phlegm, and am still coughing and feverish. Not much fun, but at least half doses of cold medicine are helping me sleep better at night!

I got out this morning and worked in my new garden beds. Many thanks to my friends KC and Heather who trucked their rototiller up from an hour away just to till a section of my front lawn! This morning I mounded earth to form beds, and then worked some old horse manure into them. I planted one bed - pumpkins and two kinds of beans - but realized that I have too many ideas and not enough definite decisions about the other beds to plant them yet. I have starts for tomatoes and two kinds of peppers, and also want to plant more of both kinds of beans, leeks, and zucchini.

The Infanta is becoming more and more difficult to get to sleep. I think what's happening is that she's becoming less flexible about bedtime, and what she thinks is the routine (and it is what usually happens) runs about two hours later than what we actually want to be happening. This means that she doesn't want to sleep until about eleven at night, and then doesn't want to wake up until eleven in the morning. Needless to say, this doesn't work in the real world. So I get her up earlier in the morning - nine-ish, maybe - and then she's cranky all day. In the evening, I've been trying to get her to bed by her sleepy cues, but she doesn't want to be in bed then, she wants to nurse and play more. If I stay in bed after she goes to sleep, she will stay asleep, but if I get up to attempt a little me time (for example, to write a blog post), she will wake up crying fairly quickly. She woke in the middle of writing this paragraph! I think the key will be being consistent with a bedtime, and probably establishing a more elaborate bedtime routine than we've had before now. I'm just not ready to give up my evening activities like knitting! Time for more Mama sacrifices. Can you believe I want more babies?!

I'm pretty sure the physical end of the miscarriage is complete. The last several days (TMI warning!) I had discharge similar to the very end of lochia - which it was, really - but saw none today, so I think my body may have cleared everything out finally, and may be ready to begin cycling afresh. That would be nice.

Linky!

Karen over at the Hissy Stitch has some great photos of the surprise baby shower our Ravelry group threw yesterday. Included in the set are some great ones of the Infanta; go check them out! Random bit of trivia: the cow blanket was part of my gift, which was supposed to be a certain handmade item, but since I ran into technical difficulties, I subbed in the gift I'd intended for the "official" shower. Here's hoping for some sewing time this week!

I did get about 5 hours of more or less solid sleep after my post earlier this morning. Not enough in the grand scheme of things, but enough for bare functioning today.

Things I Need Today

- For the Infanta to sleep somewhere other than on me or my boob. I don't mind nursing to sleep, but every 45 minutes gets me no sleep at all. See the time I'm posting.

- Sleep! See above.

- Time alone with my husband, with no baby in the house, preferably for several hours, so I can stop being on duty long enough for a solid cry and nap. See above. The Infanta napping solidly while away from me would be frosting.

- To not be sick. I don't know where this combination of heartburn, nasty sore throat, and cough came from, but it needs to go back. Haven't I had enough crap this month?

Frankly, I need item 3 the most. All else would be much more tolerable after few hours' uninterrupted sleep and that cry I keep having to put off.

Good Reads

One of the many blogs I read is Whatever, the personal blog of sf author John Scalzi. He writes anything from updates on what his cats are doing, to political diatribes, to ramblings about what he's up to with his writing, be it being offline because of a deadline, or the schedule of a convention he's attending or speaking at. He's an excellent writer, and well worth reading; even if you disagree with him politically, he makes his arguments clearly and cogently, and is always thought-provoking. Well, maybe not the butter-eating. Josh would probably argue that the bacon thing is, though.

Anyway, one of Scalzi's pet projects is something he calls The Big Idea. The feature combines pimping other authors' works with insights into how they come up with their ideas. Today he posted this. Go read, and then follow the links to the pdf of The Patriot Witch. I'm 129 pages in, impatient to finish, and planning to acquire the books as soon as I reasonably can.

I got nothin'

So here's a lolcat that illustrates much of my current life:


see more Lolcats and funny pictures

We could have had kittens well fed all the way home from the park this morning.

What a relief!

Apparently, Mercury is in retrograde. So this whole recent horrible chain of events isn't our fault!!

My miscarriage, Josh's chronic infected/ingrown toenail that he had operated on today, even the Infanta turning up with pinkeye today: all completely out of our control!

Well. Not entirely true. Probably. But it's nice to lay blame somewhere, if only for a few seconds.

Life goes on... soon.

And now I get to start integrating our loss into living life.

After a morning spent wrangling with advice nurses (I swear one was trying to convince me that nothing was wrong), I got an appointment for this afternoon with an OB. He read my charts, listened to my story, took a look, and yup, no question about what, was going on. He was wonderful, actually. Listening to my story, he asked questions at the right points and showed supportive reactions to others. He was also very compassionate and very sympathetic, using lots of eye contact and making sure I understood what was going on and what we need to do from here.

Which is some more waiting. I fed the vampires* so they could check my hCG count again; if that's clearly going down, then we can pretty much just sit back. If not, then we get to talk D&C. I'm rooting for option A, myself.

But I think I'm just about done lingering, except for that last bit of waiting. It's done, anything more will be cleanup. I'm not trying to push my grief away, the more because I'm not good at mourning, but I'm trying to learn how to integrate it with my joy in and love for the Infanta. Mama and Daddy are having a rough time (his is a whole nother story), but she's also having her own stuff, with learning to walk and an apparent growth spurt... and a birthday just around the corner! Also, I have four good friends expecting babies this summer and fall, one of whom I'm going to be doula for again; I've been joyful for them until now, and I want neither to stop being happy for them, nor to let my grief and envy sour our friendships.

I believe every pregnancy happens for a reason. I wish this one had not ended this way, but it did. I also believe that, although the soul that was attached to this baby couldn't stay, she or he will find the parents he or she is meant to be with. If that's with us, fantastic. If not... some other soul will come to bless us, and I hope it's sooner rather than later!

eta - this doesn't mean I won't gratefully accept hugs!!!


* old family term for getting blood drawn for testing, invented when I was a kid and had six months of strep throat - I had so many blood tests done then that I practically had track marks!

Sunny Sunday?

I took these pictures a few days ago; they seem very representative of the Infanta right now. Asleep, or in denial about waking up, she's all in a (very cute) heap; awake, she's on the verge of running off somewhere, and waiting with bare patience for me to finish whatever puttering in order to accompany her.

Today's a very beautiful day; sunny and warm with a breeze that's cool enough still to keep the heat tolerable. I'm happy that it's so gorgeous out, because it balances how cruddy I'm feeling physically. I'm probably going to call the clinic tomorrow morning about a D&C, because I've been bleeding again since last night, with lots of cramping and feeling sick - not nausea, just ucky in that raging-hormones way. Plus, the longer it hangs on, the more likely it is to cause complications, the which I really don't want. I'm sleepy all the time right now, and I'm convinced it's because of this whole thing, and that it's probably a sign that things aren't going well. I just want this miscarriage over and done with, so I can heal and move on.

Plus, you know, I want to be able to chase the puppy when it comes home to us.

It's a zoo out there!

And now for the promised zoo post. But first: thank you all so very, very much for all your expressions of sympathy. It's been a rough week, and you guys have helped immensely!

Zoo trip May 2009

Above is the entire set of pictures I took on the trip. I heartily recommend clicking on the link, and then viewing them as a slideshow (button in the upper left corner when you get there). I think I've used up my wittiness in the captions; I hope you enjoy! We had an amazing day, and were very glad that we braved the threatening rain - which to be honest did materialize at points, but never more than lightly or briefly.

And Baby Makes... Three. (TMI warning)

We spent the day at the Portland Zoo, which was much fun, and I have pictures to post, but I'll probably do that tomorrow. Tonight I need to write about something else.

Last month we got our "babydancing" timing right. I had two glorious weeks of pregnancy symptoms: heartburn, nausea (but not too bad), full breasts, the whole nine yards - even my pelvis went "sproing"! And then I had a period - or what I thought might have been a period. At the time it started, I was hoping it might be implantation bleeding... The flow was very rich, and had a bunch of little clots, and even something that might had been a teeny lump of tissue. Sad, but early miscarriages or "chemical pregnancies" happen all the time; supposedly most women who have them don't even notice anything other than maybe a heavy period. I knew what was happening, and it made me sad not only because I want another baby, but also because I knew what I was going to be missing. But it was done, nothing to do but start trying again.

Fast forward to last Friday. Late morning I was in pretty significant pain which felt like it was probably a UTI (and it was, see my posts the last few days...). Making things more complicated was that I was having bloody discharge - not bloody urine - which confused the heck out of me and the nurse who initially saw me. The nurse decided that my case was beyond her, and referred me to a clinician. Almost the first thing the clinician did was apply a pregnancy test to my urine sample - which came up positive! Yay! But. There was still the issue of my bleeding. So, she decided to run blood tests for a 48-hour comparison of hCG levels. The first draw was Friday, the second Sunday, hence my reason to leave the Mother's Day celebration a bit early. And then I had to wait.

The bleeding resolved by Sunday evening, which I thought was a hopeful sign. Monday the clinician wasn't on duty; she said her partner might call with the results. I was tempted to call the clinic, or simply show up in person... but I didn't. I received no call from them, either, and I chose to interpret that as not negative news, and cautiously told a few friends last night.

And then the clinician called this morning at about three minutes past 9, while I was sitting on my porch waiting for our ride to the zoo, with the news. My hCG levels had dropped markedly between the two samples; I am not successfully pregnant this cycle.

I'm sad. I already mourned this possible pregnancy, then had my hopes raised, and now dashed again. I'm by no means inconsolable - I pretty much forgot the whole thing during the day today! But once again, not only did I want this very much, but I know exactly what I'm missing, that I'll have to wait a while longer to have again. There's not really any way to know at what point I conceived, whether it was in April or since that weird bleed, but I choose to believe that that is the pregnancy I'm not keeping now, and I will probably always now meet that possible due date with a little touch of melancholy.

Now it's time to cry a few tears, mourn this baby-not-to-be, and get myself as healthy as I can manage so that next time this will work.

Chili?!

Because I decided that I didn't want to cook last night, and since leaving Josh in charge of food means that either we eat out, or it comes out of a box or a can, we had chili for dinner. I was all right with this; take a can of chili, add cheese and a couple handfuls of crushed crackers or corn chips, and you have a decent meal. What I didn't expect was a certain little girl giving me huge puppy-dog eyes, and begging her share! So I dipped a little gravy on my spoon, figuring she wouldn't like the spiciness (very mild even by my standards, but more than she'd had before)... and she loved it. Not only did she not spit it out, she begged more! In the end, she probably ate as much as a tablespoonful: gravy, meat, semi-dissolved chips, and all. She's showing no ill effects from her feast so far, and I'm thinking she may be getting closer to turning the corner on eating solids as a larger portion of her nourishment. My poor boobs would really like a break!

Happy Mother's Day!

Gotta love a holiday based on motherly war protest.

We spent a good chunk of the day with Josh's family; his folks gathered the clan for a lovely luncheon. The Infanta was too distracted by everyone (especially her cousins who wanted to play with her!) to nap at all, so I was rather grateful to have an excuse to leave. I had to go get a blood test relating to my UTI... and it had to be today, which meant we had to get to the clinic before it closed.. but I think we might have left about the time we did anyway, just because the little girl needed to sleep so badly that she was passed out before we were three streets away! But it was nice seeing everyone.

Because it's beautiful and true:


see more Lolcats and funny pictures

UTI Day Two

So I personally have a had a not-bad day; lots of lying around doing not much. Josh has been chasing the Infanta a lot so I can rest and heal. I did choose not to go to knitting this afternoon... but I wouldn't have been much fun, achy as I am.

The trouble is, the Infanta has been her usual self, but fussy. She clearly wants to be with me, but I'm so achy around the middle that I'm really not comfortable holding her. When I do hold her, she's so wiggly that I can't tolerate it for very long. On top of it all, she had a huge thing in the middle of the night where it took a good hour and a half and the both of our efforts to get her asleep... so Josh and I are both pooped.

But at least I have the sweet sensations of Napoleon Dynamite to comfort me!

Woe is me.

So yesterday was great, right?

Today made up for it. Late morning, and I all of a sudden HURT! All across my abdomen and up my back to my kidney... I knew I should NOT let this go over the weekend, so I called the clinic and got a nurse appointment to check for a UTI. Meanwhile, I'd invited Snarfy (one of my local knit hotties) over because she was in need of a day out of the house with her boys... this was not what either of us had hoped for. I was (and am!) grateful that she cheerfully volunteered to give us a ride down to the clinic and to chase L while I was doing medical things... not quite what we had in mind.

It was even more miserable because after an hour waiting around for this and that, the nurse I saw decided that what all was going on was beyond her, and that I needed to come back in a bit to see the clinician...

Long story short, after wading through assorted chaff and distractions (and a really nice chat with the clinician and her intern), I do in fact have a UTI.

Ugh.

Do I Even Need to Say It?

Posting remains spotty due to a certain fussy, clingy, and frequently over-tired proto-toddler sucking all my energy. Since she is currently passed out on my lap (all I can say is that the $20 Mom spent on my Boppy was some of the best $20 spent on this child...), I figured I'd take the opportunity. Rather than spend the time on, like, surfing Ravelry. I'll do that next; it's easier to juggle with a newly wakened baby (when that happens).

Today has been a perfect example of a Willamette Valley spring day. It has been gorgeous and sunny and pouring rain by turns. This morning we ditched the babywearing meeting, and ended up meeting some friends at the Riverfront Park to watch the toddlers (and proto-toddler) run. While we were at the playground, another mom told us that they were having a story time over at the Carousel. So, we packed the kiddos up (cleverly exchanging which girl rode in which stroller so that Hurricane Tavy would cooperate) and headed over. A nice, grandmotherly woman read stories, played music, guided a coloring activity, and let us all on the carousel for free... and while we were at this, the sky opened up! Since I was walking, my friends started brainstorming ways to get us home (due to two carseats among three babies)... but I figured that the rain would at the very least lighten up enough to allow me to make it to the bus stop. Happily, it stopped entirely, and got positively bright out. My friends and I packed the babies up again, and they wandered with me up the sidewalks to the new pedestrian bridge across the River (I still get flashes of Lord Ken raining Greek fire over the Protectorate turtle boats when I cross it, but I think I always will). And so home, pausing at the local Jamba Juice to wait out the next shower. And now happily posting, with the front door open for the fresh air, a shawl over us to cut the slight chill, and a sweetly napping child in my arms. Does life get better than this?

Walkin' on, Walkin' on~

Eleven months, four days. That's how long she's been wanting to do this. Well, only better.

eta: I realize that she doesn't look very coordinated in this video - but that's because she's tuckered out after standing on her own for 10-20 seconds at a time and occasionally taking off, just as she does above.

Thank you.

Everyone's comments and words of support mean a great deal to me, and I'm feeling much better. The strain's telling on me overall, though; I've had a lot of people in the last couple of days asking me if I'm ok and telling me I look tired. Well, I am tired! I'm mother to an eleven-month-old! And I'm fighting off a cold on top of it.

Happily, said baby is asleep - I left her in the now-properly-side-carred crib before 8:15! We'll see if she's actually down for the night, but it would be so nice if she were... Now to wade through all this laundry, and see if I can crash early, myself.

Mom, the hero.

I always feel like a hero when I get the Infanta to sleep with some time left in the evening to not be a mom for a bit. It's totally dorky, but I often come prancing out of the bedroom flexing my biceps victoriously: I am Super Mom! I got the baby to sleep before we all went to bed! I suppose I react this way because it's a relatively rare event; although I usually try to get Herself to sleep earlier in the evening, I don't generally manage it. Well, I managed it tonight! Got some good reading in while I was at it, too.

I needed a parenting win tonight, too. I went off to knitting today feeling like a totally bad mom - not because of the Infanta's pretty purple bruise, either. No, I don't feel bad because my rubber baby bounced off a corner; babies are made of rubber (within reason), and this isn't her first bruise, and will by no means be her last. The issue rather is that I feel like I've been completely withdrawing from "being a Mom"; I sit and knit and tell the Infanta not to pull all of Daddy's game collection off the shelf, rather than get down and play with her or teach her things. Some of that feeling is residual from low brain med levels, but it's also genuinely what happens. I'll sit down with my email and blogroll or my knitting; the Infanta will wander off to do whatever strikes her fancy with what's available (and she has no paucity of toys), and ten minutes later she's pawing at the lappy or happily unshelving games, or something else we really don't want her to do. And I'm really, really bad at getting down on the floor and playing with her. I knew I would be, but... I didn't understand how exactly that would play out in reality. Also, I feel like I should be teaching her things (and I don't just mean modeling daily life), and I'm not. At least, I don't think I am... But I don't want to turn into a "flash card mom", either, just... I don't know.

What's really getting me down is that I'm a "bad" mom, and I want another baby?! I'm totally insane.

With the weather getting so nice, we need to get out and spend more time with other moms and babies. Maybe that will help me realize that all the other moms are totally flying by the seats of their pants, too.

Owie!!!

This is not the Infanta's first bruise, but it will probably be her biggest so far. She was toppling off my lap - completely self-propelled - and slammed her cheekbone into the corner of the lappy. Oh, the howling! She tolerated an ice pack on the bruise for a couple of minutes, but then, once she was past the initial insult, started munching on it. I dabbed a little Burt's Bees Res-Q ointment on it (the shiny you see in the picture), but it's sure to develop into a real shiner.

Mama's back on meds

As many of you know, I take an antidepressant. Because of trying to conceive, I decided to at least try weaning off it. Well, after two weeks at a half dose, I went without for two whole days... and had a huge anxiety attack today, complete with yelling at my dear, darling (fussy, clingy) daughter. This was not ok, so I'm going back on a half dose until further notice.

I wish my brain chemistry didn't need help this way, but it does. *sigh*

This just in!

Rixa's birth story. Gorgeous. Makes my uterus spasm. Well, more than it was anyway. *grin*

Eleven Months

The Infanta is eleven months old tomorrow. She is babbling up a storm, getting into EVERYTHING, and sooo close to walking. When she "plays" on the keyboard, she "sings" along, and if she happens to hit the drum machine button, she full on RAWKS OUT!!! Today, she started pushing off whatever she was propping herself against, and standing on her own for 5 or so seconds at a time. She grabs our hands to go walking often, and if she's on my lap with a pile of goldfish in front of us, she will reach out for the crackers, asking for some. She's happy and inquisitive, and definitely has as strong a will as either of her parents.

You will no doubt have noticed that my posting has been somewhat sporadic recently. This is because the Infanta's rapidly developing self is demanding more and more of my time and energy, and taking care of myself and my baby is more important than my blog. Besides, half the time, about all I have to say is, "I'm exhausted", which has got to be as boring to read as it is to post. ;P

Spring Yarn Crawl

I cannot describe it better than Karen, so I refer you to her post.

Now for my loot (all Ravelry links here). I came away with one skein Malabrigo sock yarn, two skeins Malabrigo worsted (for soakers!), one ball Schoppel Wolle Zauberball (that's the really luminous stuff I'm holding in Karen's picture), one ball Crystal Palace Maizy, one silver and amber stitch marker, and a really gorgeous carved wood button. One button, you say?! I'm figuring for, like, a February Lady sweater, or something similar. Besides, I couldn't afford more!



Our portion of the group did split off to Pix, which is a totally amazing place, and then hit Yarn Garden before heading back south. All in all, a fantastic day, even if I did manage to lose my phone right at the beginning!

Even more exciting? I finished Mom's socks with all the car knitting time! Mom, keep an eye out for a Mother's Day package.

Because I'm gravelled tonight.

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

I love...

teething tablets. I may get some sleep tonight after all.

Because, now that those upper incisors are more or less through, the Infanta is starting on her lower canines.

How many of them can we make die?

I recently introduced one of my knitting friends to S.M. Stirling's Change novels, which she of course thinks are amazing (because they are), and this evening, while we were talking about them, I also decided to tell her about how Juniper, one of the major political leaders in the novels, is based significantly on the folk musician Heather Alexander. Once I had done that, I had to (and if you know anything about this woman, you will know why) find a way to play March of the Cambreadth for my friend; I did a quick google search, and found this video. It's pure icing on the cake that it's also a very nice Final Fantasy AMV.



I remember going and seeing Heather in concert at this little coffee house somewhere in San Francisco; when she started playing this, we naturally all sang along. We got the windows of the place rattling, and were totally ready to go KILL!!!!!

So I finally watched the pilot miniseries for Battlestar Galactica today, and I have one question for you all. Why in the name of Asimov hadn't one of you tied me to a chair and made me watch this YEARS ago?!

Oh, yes, Jamie Bamber is even cuter than when I first saw him back on Hornblower. Weird hearing him with an American accent, though, let alone trying to wrap my mind around him as the son of Edward James Olmos...

Do I even need to make remarks about the hotness of Starbuck? I didn't think so.

To complete my geekery, I'm going to have to find the pennies to acquire the Viper Pilots sock pattern (Ravelry link), and make them forthwith. Life is hard when you're a geek knitter.

If you're happy and you know it..

The Infanta has now discovered how to clap her hands. Happily, she doesn't yet know how to do it effectively enough to actually make a big noise, so her doing it for minutes on end is just cute, not irritating.

On another note, one of my fellow doulas made a suggestion this evening about a simple knitted product that would probably sell like hotcakes to a certain population. This bears thought...

Chez Geek

In this case, I'm not referring to the card game, but our occupation this afternoon. We took an absolutely lovely spring afternoon, and spent it playing board games in good company. Lots of fun, but I'm totally pooped now.

Hand in hand

I didn't get my pics uploaded at knitting like I hoped, but when I came home, I decided this needed to be recorded.

Yup.

Yup, I did consciously skip posting last night.

We went over to my IL's place on the spur of the moment last night, to hang out with my BIL and play Agricola with him (he's in town this week for his daughter's birthday). Alas, we arrived at the time we're usually departing, and so the Infanta spent pretty much the entire time screaming unless she was attached to boob (I think it's a growth spurt, combined with separation anxiety). Combined with my FIL's modesty about breastfeeding, and things were a bit... complicated. So, by the time we got home (at an hour in which we're usually in bed), all I wanted to do was fall over and pass out, even with babe connected to boob. Josh was kind enough to enthusiastically potter around and get me the bits and pieces I needed to feather my nest.

I have a sneaking suspicion (ok, an already made decision) that I'll be bringing Herself to knitting with me today; even if I don't get much actual knitting done, I desperately need the social time!

I also plan to bring the camera, lappy, and assorted cables so I can do little things like upload and post the pictures from the tulip farm...

I'm tired.

The last couple of days have been very long; lots of exciting things happening (such as the visit to the tulip farm this morning, of which I do have pictures...), and then topped off by a certain wanna-be toddler who's not going to sleep well. So while I have been in the habit of posting at around this time of day, I was just too tired out from, among other things, wrangling the Infanta. Hence no post yesterday, and a very spare one tonight. I'm hoping to get pictures posted this weekend.

I'm a big girl now!

I would ask forgiveness for the blurriness, but what can I say, they're action shots. If you can't tell, these are the Infanta walking with help; the top is her standing on her own (for mere seconds at a time, but who's counting?).

In which money is spent.

At our family Easter dinner yesterday, my sister in law told us that the sporting goods store formerly known as G.I. Joe's is going out of business. I don't know if it's just the one here in town, or if it's chain-wide, but it doesn't much matter for our practical purposes.

So tonight, when Josh had decided for assorted reasons that don't matter here that we were going to go out for dinner, and we ended up at the local Sonic, located just a couple of blocks from the Joe's, it seemed inevitable that we would end up wandering its bargain-hunter-crowded aisles in search of bargains ourselves. (How's that for a sentence?) Thing is, we really want to be able to go camping, and the gear we have is really pretty minimal, so we took this opportunity to improve our equipment. We're still going to be working with our previously minimalist setup (teeny tent, one ancient sleeping bag that has to be supplemented with blankets, no padding...), but at least we have a few improvements. We bought a roll-up table, a lantern, a few camp dishes, a ground cloth... Oh, and a baby bicycle helmet, in case we manage to get bicycles we like any time soon. So, not a ton of things, and we'll still be bringing a fair amount out of the house next time we attempt camping, but a few more refinements. These things take time...

Here's where the moms in the audience hate me.

You see, I seem to be smaller than pre-pregnancy size. I have a couple of pairs of jeans that I couldn't wear in the months before I got pregnant - and they're now too loose. That's happened before, and I'm sure it will happen again (the part where they're too small, that is).

But the thing that's surprising to me is that my bras seem to be too big around! Cup size - well, I'm still nursing, of course, so that's somewhere between a C and a D, depending. But I'd been noticing recently that my one real nursing bra has been... loose recently. Okay, I figure I've been wearing it pretty regularly for the last almost-year, it's probably stretched some... but really, I haven't had it all that long, and I *don't* wear it every day. Today, though, I wore a non-nursing bra, one with (brace yourself) underwires, and it was also too big! This was a bra I'd worn last spring, when my pregnancy-enhanced bust was too confined by my previous underwear, so I only wore it for about three months. Although I only paid $5 for it, it's in quite good shape. Today I put it on (it's a 36D, with lightly padded demi cups), and it was both too big and too small - the cups were a bit skimpy (not necessarily bad when you need to nurse in a bra not designed for it), and the band was too loose! So it appears that I may be in the unenviable position of needing to find a nursing bra in size 34D. I never thought I'd ever be looking for that size...

I suppose that this means I'm living proof of how breastfeeding can lead to weight loss.

Why oh why

..do I wait until it's so late that I'm too tired to be coherent, in order to post?

I've been doing some birthy reading again, and have a few thoughts to share. But not tonight, Herself needs to go to bed.

Unnspired

I actually have a fair amount I could post about today. For example, I could talk about how the Teether kept us both from sleeping at all well last night. Or about how I randomly went to the LLL meeting this morning, and came home as our new librarian. Or the three-hour nap-with-babe this afternoon during which the cat who tolerates me insisted on snuggling. I just don't want to. Blame it on lack of sleep, probably...

Just us girls

Tonight's the first night of me missing the D&D game to take care of my baby. On the one hand, I want to play, dangit! On the other hand, I'm not missing the posturing and drama that tend to go with the group's get-togethers. I'm looking forward to sitting down with a movie and some of Amy's Toasted Coconut-Chocolate Chunk Yummies! The which I've been craving for several days now, and am finally getting around to making.

Morning Girl

Long day

I started with short sleep due to staying up entirely too late reading and compounded by a baby who squirmed next to me all night. I then woke earlier than usual, as I've been trying to do in an attempt to help said baby sleep earlier. Next thing I know, I'm chasing the Hurricane (but at least I volunteered.. and Bethany will chase the Infanta for me later in the week in exchange..). That pretty much wiped me out.

Except that while the Infanta was napping this afternoon, I started another pair of the bloomers, this time withe the intent of adding a skirt layer. Should be very cute, and use a skein of Peace Fleece that I bought for the purpose months ago. Although the pale teal is a slightly odd color for me, the fact that the colorway is called "Lena's Meadow" seemed serendipitous, and was irresistible.

It's 9 pm. I'm gonna take the baby and fall over now - wish me luck on the baby sleep!

New Hotness

Last night, I finished the soft structured baby carrier I've been making. I already want to make another one, just to put into practice the things I learned making this one. Things like: don't second-guess the way the pattern tells you to attach the straps. If I'd done it the way the pattern said, I'd have saved myself a couple of hours' work. Oh, well, I never do do things the easy way first..

Since today was GORGEOUS (Oregon likes to tease its inhabitants with a taste of what spring could be like at this time of year), I got together with Bethany and another friend this morning to stroll around downtown and give the carrier a good test drive. It passes with flying colors! I carried the Infanta around for a good couple of hours, with both toddler-chasing and some easier strolling, and I was never uncomfortable. So yay! $30, a dip into the stash, and ~12 hours (that's a generous estimate, btw, I didn't count) work later, and I have a sweet carrier.

For your entertainment

For some reason, I had this scene from The Full Monty pop into my head a little while ago. It's one of my favorite scenes from the movie; please enjoy!

And the intarwebs provide

Go read hedra's gorgeous doula/birth story here. No, Bethany, I'm not trying to make your ovaries twitch worse.

Being Mama

...isn't all fun and games. As it were.

I have a regular weekly D&D night. A bunch of us get together down at the local game store and rent the private room so that we don't have try to compete with the anime club that meets there the same night. I have been bringing the Infanta and letting her crawl around and whatnot, but it's been requiring more and more attention from everyone in the group to keep her out of trouble - like, not letting her chew on everyone's laptop cords. It's really not fair to ask everyone to help me babysit, but I've been trying to ignore that so that I can get a little gaming in.

I've also been realizing recently that she's starting to turn into a toddler. I looked at her face the other day, and she's looking older, and not like even an older baby anymore, even though she's not quite walking (although cruising just fine, thankyouverymuch). She's also getting past the 8-9 month sleep regression, and wanting to be in bed by much earlier in the evening.

So near the end of last evening, after everyone's concerted efforts to keep my little teething cord maniac wrangled, I had to come to the conclusion that I'm going to have to quit going to D&D night. Although there were some noises made about bringing one of the games (we have two campaigns going) to our house so that I can continue to play, I'm not counting on that happening. I'm not very happy about this.

There are two main reasons I'm not happy:

1) I won't get to flex my gaming muscles. I've been a gamer for as long as I can remember; it's as much a part of my identity as being a knitter has become, and it kills me to not be able to have that part of my life active. It's especially bad when my husband gets to go and I don't! And no, I won't ask him to quit - that wouldn't be fair to him. For one thing, he needs to have things to do without me; I don't want to be one of those controlling spouses that never lets her partner do anything solo!

2) I'll be stuck home alone with the baby. But, you say, you're already a SAHM, what's a few hours more? Well, that's just the thing. I am home alone with the baby all day every day (unless I manage to drag us out somewhere - not that easy when I'm dependent on buses or rides from other people). By the evening, I'm tired and needing time for myself; whether it's to cook, shower, sew, or just do nothing, I need some non-baby time. If Daddy's not home, I don't get it. I actually managed to get a shower today while Daddy wasn't home for the first time in ten months!!! But that was only because I decided that the Infanta could be more or less trusted to play independently in the bathroom... and I only got about half my shower business done because she was done before I was.

I love my baby, and in the grand scheme of things, I'm willing to give up this particular adult activity while my children are little. For one thing, they won't be little forever; for another, I'll be able to pick up again when they're older. This doesn't mean I have to like it! But I think I understand better now why the gaming nights when I was a kid were always at our house.

All wrapped up

Went to the babywearing meeting today, and got helped into a yummy wrap. It's probably a good thing that I really can't afford one...

Check out the shop that one of our leaders runs: http://sweet-pickles.com/

No Foolin'

Sunday afternoon I was inspired to try out a diaper pattern I'd gotten at my local quilting store. I pulled out some receiving blankets that had never worked well for me (square > rectangle, just in case you're wondering) as well as a few of the microfiber washcloths I got last summer for just this sort of purpose.



Unfortunately, I turned out not to be able to cut more than one diaper out of a single blanket, but I figure I can use the scraps for moon pads.



Also, I probably wouldn't have had to use so many pins to get the topstitching looking good if I'd pressed it first. But it worked, and I didn't have to get out of my chair. :) Altogether, the project took probably an hour or an hour and a half; Josh wrangled the Infanta, and then we went over to Bethany's for dinner. The diaper? Works great, although I think I'll lengthen it a bit next time I make some.



I've been dressing the Infanta in jeans and dresses a lot lately. It's a cute, convenient and (I hope) comfortable combo. The above shot was taken Monday night, after she'd been at Bethany's in the afternoon - yay for baby-free time for Mama!



Then I watched the Hurricane in return for a couple of hours yesterday. This is how she insisted on being dressed: jeans, a dress, and shoes *with* socks. If she'd had Robeez, she would probably have insisted on wearing them. Oh, and she's got a new word - Socks! Can we say Best Friends Forever? Bethany and I are highly amused; on the other hand, I'm beginning to be afeared for fifteens years from now, when they start thinking about boys....

I thought this might happen

I had no time today to process any blog fodder (something about spending the morning chasing a toddler and a pre-toddler that just totally messes everything up), so while I'd hoped to tell you about my last few days, no dice tonight. I should be able to tomorrow, though...

Long day

Long, busy day today. Will post about it (I hope) in at least some detail tomorrow. Right now, the Infanta needs to go to bed.

Teeth and how to use them

The Infanta is teething again. She has all four upper incisors bulging beneath her gums, champing (if you will) at the bit to emerge. One way I know they're there is that she's gone back to rubbing her (nasty, sharp, pointy) bottom teeth against my poor nipples. She's tending to scrape them against my tender flesh at the end of a nursing session; I generally gasp involuntarily, say "No" sternly, and set her on the ground, or otherwise end the session abruptly. I'll be glad when this set is through.

But at least she's using them for their intended purpose, too. Blueberries last night; she scraped all the pulp out of the skins, making surprisingly little mess (except on her pants). I was making quesadillas for lunch just now, and had propped her in her high chair so she could watch. On impulse, I gave her a few shreds of cheese; when those promptly disappeared, I gave her a few more. When those also disappeared (and not onto the floor!), I decided it was time to learn how to sign cheese, just for future reference.

Tonight's spaghetti sauce...

came out a bit "Cajun-ed". I blame this.

*squee*

eta: if you give your child blueberries for dinner, remember to give them a full-body bib.

D'oh!

One of the ladies in my knitting group posted about our Lenten charity project of more preemie hats. I keep forgetting that I still owe 3 hats for my resolution! Guess I know what I'm doing with the STR left over from Boheme... which I could swear I posted here about, but I guess I didn't, so here's Herself posing in her pretty little sweater:

Goofy Grin

An unusual birth story

I woke up this morning to a woman laboring in bed with me. Go read about it on my doula blog!

The Infanta, by request

Hey, look, Mama's got the camera!


But the cat's way more interesting.

Gran requested more pictures, and I have no reason not to oblige. Besides, she's always good blog fodder. :)