...isn't all fun and games. As it were.
I have a regular weekly D&D night. A bunch of us get together down at the local game store and rent the private room so that we don't have try to compete with the anime club that meets there the same night. I have been bringing the Infanta and letting her crawl around and whatnot, but it's been requiring more and more attention from everyone in the group to keep her out of trouble - like, not letting her chew on everyone's laptop cords. It's really not fair to ask everyone to help me babysit, but I've been trying to ignore that so that I can get a little gaming in.
I've also been realizing recently that she's starting to turn into a toddler. I looked at her face the other day, and she's looking older, and not like even an older baby anymore, even though she's not quite walking (although cruising just fine, thankyouverymuch). She's also getting past the 8-9 month sleep regression, and wanting to be in bed by much earlier in the evening.
So near the end of last evening, after everyone's concerted efforts to keep my little teething cord maniac wrangled, I had to come to the conclusion that I'm going to have to quit going to D&D night. Although there were some noises made about bringing one of the games (we have two campaigns going) to our house so that I can continue to play, I'm not counting on that happening. I'm not very happy about this.
There are two main reasons I'm not happy:
1) I won't get to flex my gaming muscles. I've been a gamer for as long as I can remember; it's as much a part of my identity as being a knitter has become, and it kills me to not be able to have that part of my life active. It's especially bad when my husband gets to go and I don't! And no, I won't ask him to quit - that wouldn't be fair to him. For one thing, he needs to have things to do without me; I don't want to be one of those controlling spouses that never lets her partner do anything solo!
2) I'll be stuck home alone with the baby. But, you say, you're already a SAHM, what's a few hours more? Well, that's just the thing. I am home alone with the baby all day every day (unless I manage to drag us out somewhere - not that easy when I'm dependent on buses or rides from other people). By the evening, I'm tired and needing time for myself; whether it's to cook, shower, sew, or just do nothing, I need some non-baby time. If Daddy's not home, I don't get it. I actually managed to get a shower today while Daddy wasn't home for the first time in ten months!!! But that was only because I decided that the Infanta could be more or less trusted to play independently in the bathroom... and I only got about half my shower business done because she was done before I was.
I love my baby, and in the grand scheme of things, I'm willing to give up this particular adult activity while my children are little. For one thing, they won't be little forever; for another, I'll be able to pick up again when they're older. This doesn't mean I have to like it! But I think I understand better now why the gaming nights when I was a kid were always at our house.