How did it get to the end of the month already?! Oh, I know: chasing a busy toddler around.
For the year's goals:
1. How do I forget about this one? The Infanta has become a smidge less frustrating, though, so it's a little easier to appreciate her. More on that in a bit.
2. With A's help I made myself a nightie a couple of weeks ago! It's super comfy, and we're plotting a day to work on jammies for the girls - with, I hope, someone to watch the girls so we can concentrate on sewing.
3. Not much relaxation on the pregnancy issue here, but I'm at about three weeks on no soda. It's still not easy, and I don't really like that I've taken to coffee in the mornings, but I do feel better. I think. On the other hand, my cycle has been doing weird things for a few months, and I'm still trying to figure out what and why.
4. Not doing so great on the housework, but I have at least gotten to a place where I'll be in the kitchen waiting for something to cook, and will realize that I have a few minutes in which to, say, load the dishwasher. It's not consistent, but it does happen. Also, it's fairly easy to get frustrated and pick up the Infanta's bedroom (more on that below).
5. Again, not doing to great on this... but I at least think about it. Last week we had some truly gorgeous weather, and all three of us got out to enjoy it. I even got out to the garden, which I weeded, and then planted sugar peas and onions. I think I might still be sore from that... This week is promising to be stormy; March going out like a lion this year, so getting out will be problematic. Still, I'm thinking about it, and that's a start!
The Infanta is finally coming out of 18-21 month hell. She's sweet, cheerful, social, mischievous, and turning into a proper little geek. Around the beginning of this month I got tired of watching Thomas the Tank Engine all the time, and instead started watching the new Doctor Who series. As a result, the Infanta will ask to see "Thoma'?" as well as "Doctie?". But the we watched The Goblet of Fire the other night... and during the scene in which Barty Crouch Jr is unmasked, she was pointing at David Tennant on the screen and saying "Doctie? Doctie? Doctie!" One of my worst trials with her right now is that when she's playing with the Quiet One, she's more likely than not to pull hair and shove. So to deal with that and teach the Infanta that that's not acceptable while simultaneously not feeding the Quiet One's incipient dramatic tendencies is... a challenge.
Weaning is actually going surprisingly well, and thank you all for your supportive comments on the subject. It does help to know that you all are out there and caring! At the beginning of Josh's Spring Break we turned my office into the Infanta's bedroom. To all appearances so far, she loves having her own room, and will ask to go play in it (we have it gated off still). With the time change she began sleeping almost all night, and with her own room she's started sleeping all night! So I haven't had to worry about night weaning, the Infanta has done that herself. I had tried to drop our morning nursing session at first, and that wasn't going so well, but after a day on which she napped easily without nursing I decided to drop that session instead. So we're down to only bedtime and morning, which suits me fine. The Infanta does seem to have finally picked up that I deliberately stopped, as she's been asking to "nuss" more in the last couple of days, and is very eager when it is time, but she accepts more or less gracefully when I say no.
That's the highlights from the trenches right now.
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Monday, March 29, 2010
Tuesday, March 02, 2010
Checking in about checking out
February was a difficult month for me. March looks like it's going to be harder.
There has been a lot going on; visits with friends and the Olympics to name a couple. A brought Baby J home, and we've spent a good deal of time hanging out, and I've gotten to enjoy her teeny sweetness a lot. A swears that Baby J needs me to hold her in order to poop, and so far we haven't seen anything to disprove that. (oh, darn, I have to snuggle the tiny one?) I also decided that for the sake of my own sanity, I needed to cut down how much the Infanta was nursing; she's down to about three times a day (plus whatever during the night, which has become usually not all that much), and has taken it pretty well. She still asks, but accepts when I say no, because it's not time.
The Infanta also dove straight into a huge developmental and physical growth leap in the last couple of weeks. Her clothes are getting short, and her language sophistication increases by the day. As the natural flip side, she's also become prone to ginormous tantrums, as incidents insignificant to us trigger huge emotions that she doesn't know how to cope with yet... not to mention the further development of her contrary side. (I wonder where she got that?) It's very difficult and frustrating for us to cope with, but nothing anyone who's parented a toddler hasn't dealt with. Still, it's new to us, and J and I are struggling to figure out our compromises in parenting style at the same time the Infanta's changing so rapidly.
Trouble is, I'm beginning to not do so well all on my lonesome. I was able to almost forget about the baby (babies) I should have been carrying for a little while, but I have become aware again, and the grief is triggering my depression. I've found myself dissociating a lot in the last few days, and beginning to lose interest in pursuits I'd been enjoying. It's like that last pregnancy was more real to me, because I was so aware of it and had it confirmed so clearly, and had allowed myself to hope... and then those hopes were dashed as I knew the moment I passed what baby there was. And now I know exactly how far along I'd be, because the due date would have been the same as the Infanta's... It's not that I'm dwelling on it. It's that I'm trying to go about my life, but it's reaching up and dragging me away from that life - I had gotten so far behind on dishes, for example, that I ran two loads today and still couldn't get them all. and I won't talk about how long some of this laundry's been waiting to be folded. But... I don't cry easily, not for myself, and had forgotten until a week and a half ago that I hadn't cried about this last miscarriage. At that time, I was able to squeeze out a little moisture, because I was at a memorial... and a couple of nights ago someone said something that made me tear up a little... but I still haven't *really* cried, and I can feel something like a tidal wave building up, and I don't know how to let it out.
There has been a lot going on; visits with friends and the Olympics to name a couple. A brought Baby J home, and we've spent a good deal of time hanging out, and I've gotten to enjoy her teeny sweetness a lot. A swears that Baby J needs me to hold her in order to poop, and so far we haven't seen anything to disprove that. (oh, darn, I have to snuggle the tiny one?) I also decided that for the sake of my own sanity, I needed to cut down how much the Infanta was nursing; she's down to about three times a day (plus whatever during the night, which has become usually not all that much), and has taken it pretty well. She still asks, but accepts when I say no, because it's not time.
The Infanta also dove straight into a huge developmental and physical growth leap in the last couple of weeks. Her clothes are getting short, and her language sophistication increases by the day. As the natural flip side, she's also become prone to ginormous tantrums, as incidents insignificant to us trigger huge emotions that she doesn't know how to cope with yet... not to mention the further development of her contrary side. (I wonder where she got that?) It's very difficult and frustrating for us to cope with, but nothing anyone who's parented a toddler hasn't dealt with. Still, it's new to us, and J and I are struggling to figure out our compromises in parenting style at the same time the Infanta's changing so rapidly.
Trouble is, I'm beginning to not do so well all on my lonesome. I was able to almost forget about the baby (babies) I should have been carrying for a little while, but I have become aware again, and the grief is triggering my depression. I've found myself dissociating a lot in the last few days, and beginning to lose interest in pursuits I'd been enjoying. It's like that last pregnancy was more real to me, because I was so aware of it and had it confirmed so clearly, and had allowed myself to hope... and then those hopes were dashed as I knew the moment I passed what baby there was. And now I know exactly how far along I'd be, because the due date would have been the same as the Infanta's... It's not that I'm dwelling on it. It's that I'm trying to go about my life, but it's reaching up and dragging me away from that life - I had gotten so far behind on dishes, for example, that I ran two loads today and still couldn't get them all. and I won't talk about how long some of this laundry's been waiting to be folded. But... I don't cry easily, not for myself, and had forgotten until a week and a half ago that I hadn't cried about this last miscarriage. At that time, I was able to squeeze out a little moisture, because I was at a memorial... and a couple of nights ago someone said something that made me tear up a little... but I still haven't *really* cried, and I can feel something like a tidal wave building up, and I don't know how to let it out.
Sunday, February 07, 2010
Out and about
In pursuit of my resolution to get out of the house more, and in celebration of the recent occasionally nice weather, we've gotten to some fun places recently.
Here we are with the Quiet One* and her aunt and uncle at Gilbert House:
Friday and today (Sunday) were gorgeous sunny days, and we ended up at the park with some of my knitting friends and their kids. For a change, I remembered my camera - again! That's three times in a week!
* I've decided to call the Infanta's friend K by this pseudonym. She very quiet in comparison to the Infanta and the Hurricane, and it's also something of an homage to my younger brother, who maintained a cartoon involving a bunny with a sledgehammer and the caption "No one suspects the quiet ones!" on our refrigerator growing up. If you'd grown up with him, you'd keep an eye on the quiet ones, too!
Here we are with the Quiet One* and her aunt and uncle at Gilbert House:
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| Gilbert House |
Friday and today (Sunday) were gorgeous sunny days, and we ended up at the park with some of my knitting friends and their kids. For a change, I remembered my camera - again! That's three times in a week!
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| At the Park |
* I've decided to call the Infanta's friend K by this pseudonym. She very quiet in comparison to the Infanta and the Hurricane, and it's also something of an homage to my younger brother, who maintained a cartoon involving a bunny with a sledgehammer and the caption "No one suspects the quiet ones!" on our refrigerator growing up. If you'd grown up with him, you'd keep an eye on the quiet ones, too!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Drinking game!
Because I can't do anything for my friend and client A, who's in the hospital right now dealing with preterm labor, I'm going to rough out a drinking game based on Thomas the Tank Engine.
Essentially, take a drink every time one of the following occurs: any of the characters exclaims (cinders and ashes, flatten my funnel, etc.); any time the words "useful" or "reliable" are mentioned; any time Sir Toppham Hatt is pompous. Following these guidelines, you should be nicely tipsy by the end of a single episode!
On a completely different note, all you Jane Austen nuts should go read this. Now. Swallow first, and if you don't, don't say I didn't warn you.
Essentially, take a drink every time one of the following occurs: any of the characters exclaims (cinders and ashes, flatten my funnel, etc.); any time the words "useful" or "reliable" are mentioned; any time Sir Toppham Hatt is pompous. Following these guidelines, you should be nicely tipsy by the end of a single episode!
On a completely different note, all you Jane Austen nuts should go read this. Now. Swallow first, and if you don't, don't say I didn't warn you.
Friday, November 06, 2009
Halloween 2009
The Infanta and I attended a toddler and parent Halloween party (including trick-or-treating). I can't take credit for the photos; the camera was still in the basket when Bethany walked in and asked if she could use it. Since she's a far more active photographer than I, I happily acquiesced.
The Infanta, of course, is in the red dress, as a sort of Renaissance Toddler. The Hurricane is in the fuzzy green as a frog, but she would be quick to tell you that she has the red checked shirt of her HORSE costume on beneath. The little girl in black (she decided she was a Wild Thing) is one of the girls' friends; we were at her house. The rest of the cast is rounded out by assorted fathers, and finally, by yours truly.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
I Love My Friends
I've put myself on bedrest for the last few days; my body has given notice that I need to STOP for a bit, so I'm doing my best. Trouble is... bedrest is nigh impossible with a 16 month old. So, I've ended up leaning on some wonderful people to help wrangle the Infanta so that I don't have to be up and down chasing her all day. Sunday Josh managed her, despite his lingering nasty cold. Yesterday I called my friend Amber, whose daughter is about a month older than the Infanta; they came and spent a mellow afternoon. It helps that the girls play well together (as much as babies their age are capable of it). Today my friend Katie came over, bringing her boys. Katie rocked my world. She came over with the intent of not only keeping me company and distracting the Infanta, but also of cleaning the house. And clean she did! The instant she walked in, she started picking up toys (which the kids naturally promptly started taking out again). She moved from there to clearing the dining room table, and thence to starting a load of dishes. She paused a bit there to watch part of a movie and knit a bit, but then she hopped up again, picked the toys up, and vacuumed. Then she did another load of dishes, following that up with cleaning assorted counter clutter. Then, as she left, she remarked that she was lazy today! Because, you see, she'd intended to do laundry as well, and didn't get to it!
Tomorrow Josh will be home again, taking care of his cold, and incidentally wrangling Herself. I'm hoping that I won't need the help much past this week, that this rest will be enough to ease my troubles; I have seen signs that I may be healing as I hoped, but I certainly don't want to jeopardize that healing by taking too much on again too soon.
Tomorrow Josh will be home again, taking care of his cold, and incidentally wrangling Herself. I'm hoping that I won't need the help much past this week, that this rest will be enough to ease my troubles; I have seen signs that I may be healing as I hoped, but I certainly don't want to jeopardize that healing by taking too much on again too soon.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
I've got another think coming.
Today Bethany and (and ours girls) went and visited Karinda. On the one hand, we wanted to see her gorgeous new baby, and on the other, to help out with a few household chores. We probably stayed a bit longer than we should have, especially given how exhausted Karinda was, but she was glad that in addition to fiddling with food donations, dishes, and even laundry, we were able to take her 2.75 yo son out to play for a good hour or so.
Towards the end of our visit, I got a chance to snuggle the beautiful brand-new baby. The Infanta happened to be more or less in my lap at the same time, and at first did very well with the newborn in my arms. She was very interested, and did an excellent job of patting the baby very softly and lightly. Then the baby woke up enough to begin rooting for a breast, and the Infanta didn't like that so much. In fact, she got downright upset, even jealous; she started protesting loudly and trying to climb into my arms over the newborn. I'd already been about to hand the baby back to her mother, but it got difficult when Herself was practically pulling the squishy bundle out of my arms in her upset eagerness to be in them herself. It was obvious that she did. not. want. to share me, and that the thought of another baby getting at "her" milk supply was intolerable. So, it has become obvious to me that we will have to prepare her carefully for sharing nursing whenever we manage to have a sibling coming. I'm not sure how we'll do this, not yet anyway, but I'm sure we'll think of something.
Interestingly, once the baby was back in her mother's arms and latched on to her proper breast, the Infanta went back to watching interestedly, and even signed "nurse" - not requesting it, but identifying what she was seeing. I knew she was a smart cookie, but is this usual at 15 months?
Towards the end of our visit, I got a chance to snuggle the beautiful brand-new baby. The Infanta happened to be more or less in my lap at the same time, and at first did very well with the newborn in my arms. She was very interested, and did an excellent job of patting the baby very softly and lightly. Then the baby woke up enough to begin rooting for a breast, and the Infanta didn't like that so much. In fact, she got downright upset, even jealous; she started protesting loudly and trying to climb into my arms over the newborn. I'd already been about to hand the baby back to her mother, but it got difficult when Herself was practically pulling the squishy bundle out of my arms in her upset eagerness to be in them herself. It was obvious that she did. not. want. to share me, and that the thought of another baby getting at "her" milk supply was intolerable. So, it has become obvious to me that we will have to prepare her carefully for sharing nursing whenever we manage to have a sibling coming. I'm not sure how we'll do this, not yet anyway, but I'm sure we'll think of something.
Interestingly, once the baby was back in her mother's arms and latched on to her proper breast, the Infanta went back to watching interestedly, and even signed "nurse" - not requesting it, but identifying what she was seeing. I knew she was a smart cookie, but is this usual at 15 months?
Friday, August 21, 2009
Ugh.
So, three days into my new posting resolution... and I skip a day. It wasn't my fault, though! I decided to swap the operating system, and making it work took a lot longer than we expected. But as of this afternoon, I'm back online.
This week has been a very long one in some ways, and very short in others. Two good friends had their babies (Stacey on Wednesday, Karinda just today), Br. Vincent visited, and so on. This is fairly TMI, but my breasts have been very tender this week, rendering nursing very uncomfortable. The Infanta has been beginning to take more chances with what she can do, and so her collection of war injuries, as of this evening, includes two splits in her lip and a bruise on her cheek.
We said farewell to Br. Vincent this morning, delivering him to visit his dad in Newport. I'm not sure when we'll get to see him in person again, but I'm sure we'll have plenty of good times online, as we generally do (when life doesn't have us too busy).
Tonight I am exhausted. I ache in body and soul, and am beginning to dread overnight, knowing that the Infanta is likely to nurse much as she did last night - not often (she only woke me twice), but long, and persistently (owie!!!!). I'm beginning to have thoughts about night weaning, but am not sure I'm up to the battle that I have no question it will be.
I am looking forward to the weekend, however. I have knitting tomorrow afternoon, and the weather has cooled significantly. I hope you all have good ones!
This week has been a very long one in some ways, and very short in others. Two good friends had their babies (Stacey on Wednesday, Karinda just today), Br. Vincent visited, and so on. This is fairly TMI, but my breasts have been very tender this week, rendering nursing very uncomfortable. The Infanta has been beginning to take more chances with what she can do, and so her collection of war injuries, as of this evening, includes two splits in her lip and a bruise on her cheek.
We said farewell to Br. Vincent this morning, delivering him to visit his dad in Newport. I'm not sure when we'll get to see him in person again, but I'm sure we'll have plenty of good times online, as we generally do (when life doesn't have us too busy).
Tonight I am exhausted. I ache in body and soul, and am beginning to dread overnight, knowing that the Infanta is likely to nurse much as she did last night - not often (she only woke me twice), but long, and persistently (owie!!!!). I'm beginning to have thoughts about night weaning, but am not sure I'm up to the battle that I have no question it will be.
I am looking forward to the weekend, however. I have knitting tomorrow afternoon, and the weather has cooled significantly. I hope you all have good ones!
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
Loooong day.
Almost forgot to post!
We spent the day today driving to Lacey, WA to pick up our good friend Br. Vincent. The drive up went pretty well. Both the Infanta and I got naps in, although hers was twice as long as mine, and I also got a good bit of knitting in. When she woke, she was amused by looking out the window until very close to our destination (whereupon she started with the fussing). Then hanging out at the monastery, and lunch, and then on the road again.
The trip back didn't go so smoothly. This time we had a monk in the front seat, so I was sitting in the back next to the Infanta - these days, she's much fussier with me next to her than not. We both got naps again; again, hers was much longer than mine, and I got a fair bit of knitting done. But she didn't sleep as long as she did in the morning, and on top of it, she wanted to nurse like crazy. Well, nurse as many times as she has been lately... And since I don't have nearly the acreage up front that some ladies of my acquaintance have, I couldn't oblige her while we were in motion. So she fussed about that. Also, she didn't want to be stuck in a carseat, she wanted to be playing... so she fussed about that. Eventually, I hit touched out (something about being kicked one too many times), so I spent the remaining forty minutes or so alternately ignoring her, holding myself out of the way of kicking feet (neither of which is easy when sitting next to the car seat), and, when she was actually behaving well, snuggling.
Now I have to go, because she's totally melting down, needing to go to bed early.
But we have Br. Vincent for a few days, which is teh awesome.
We spent the day today driving to Lacey, WA to pick up our good friend Br. Vincent. The drive up went pretty well. Both the Infanta and I got naps in, although hers was twice as long as mine, and I also got a good bit of knitting in. When she woke, she was amused by looking out the window until very close to our destination (whereupon she started with the fussing). Then hanging out at the monastery, and lunch, and then on the road again.
The trip back didn't go so smoothly. This time we had a monk in the front seat, so I was sitting in the back next to the Infanta - these days, she's much fussier with me next to her than not. We both got naps again; again, hers was much longer than mine, and I got a fair bit of knitting done. But she didn't sleep as long as she did in the morning, and on top of it, she wanted to nurse like crazy. Well, nurse as many times as she has been lately... And since I don't have nearly the acreage up front that some ladies of my acquaintance have, I couldn't oblige her while we were in motion. So she fussed about that. Also, she didn't want to be stuck in a carseat, she wanted to be playing... so she fussed about that. Eventually, I hit touched out (something about being kicked one too many times), so I spent the remaining forty minutes or so alternately ignoring her, holding myself out of the way of kicking feet (neither of which is easy when sitting next to the car seat), and, when she was actually behaving well, snuggling.
Now I have to go, because she's totally melting down, needing to go to bed early.
But we have Br. Vincent for a few days, which is teh awesome.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Sock Summit '09
There's just too much to tell, but it was amazing. And I only got to go to the Marketplace and the Ravelry party!
I didn't take nearly enough photos, but here's what there is.
The Infanta was wonderful; despite a very long day and only a short nap, she only melted down about once. I was bombarded constantly with compliments, mostly about her handknits, but also about herself herself. :) It was wonderful to see babies and children of all ages everywhere, all day; truly a baby-friendly event!
There are rumors circulating about "the next one", naturally; I'm just hopiong that they decide to come back to Portland soonish, and that I can actually get into some classes next time!
When I wrote my last entry I was really, truly down, but Saturday, spent with friends and yarn fumes, has eased my spirit considerably. It was an amazing day, and healed me deeply.
I didn't take nearly enough photos, but here's what there is.
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| SockSummit09 |
The Infanta was wonderful; despite a very long day and only a short nap, she only melted down about once. I was bombarded constantly with compliments, mostly about her handknits, but also about herself herself. :) It was wonderful to see babies and children of all ages everywhere, all day; truly a baby-friendly event!
There are rumors circulating about "the next one", naturally; I'm just hopiong that they decide to come back to Portland soonish, and that I can actually get into some classes next time!
When I wrote my last entry I was really, truly down, but Saturday, spent with friends and yarn fumes, has eased my spirit considerably. It was an amazing day, and healed me deeply.
Friday, August 07, 2009
Blues
Despite having spent the day with Karinda and Bethany (which visit was wonderful and uplifting, even if we didn't all get to pick blueberries together),I'm really down tonight.
Part of it is that I'm still processing the birth I was at earlier this week. Mostly, though, I think it's how that experience is synergizing with the fact that at the same time, I was (I firmly believe) passing my second chemical pregnancy in a row. That would be three pregnancies I've lost since May. We weren't even officially trying this last cycle! (Not that you'd have known it... *whistles innocently*)
I'm planning to contact my reproductive-type care folks and get myself checked out, but the thought is really scary. Like, how do I prove the chemical pregnancies? What if they find something wrong with me? Worse, what if they don't?
I'm going to try my best to set this aside for tomorrow, and enjoy my day at Sock Summit, but I think it's going to be very difficult. Right now I feel like I'm moving through January-chilled molasses; my shoulders ache, my head aches, heck, even my eyes ache, and I'm having a hard time keeping them open.
And of course the Infanta chooses this time to (apparently) start a growth spurt and teethe, so she's extra super-duper fussy and clingy. Ah, the joys of motherhood...
Part of it is that I'm still processing the birth I was at earlier this week. Mostly, though, I think it's how that experience is synergizing with the fact that at the same time, I was (I firmly believe) passing my second chemical pregnancy in a row. That would be three pregnancies I've lost since May. We weren't even officially trying this last cycle! (Not that you'd have known it... *whistles innocently*)
I'm planning to contact my reproductive-type care folks and get myself checked out, but the thought is really scary. Like, how do I prove the chemical pregnancies? What if they find something wrong with me? Worse, what if they don't?
I'm going to try my best to set this aside for tomorrow, and enjoy my day at Sock Summit, but I think it's going to be very difficult. Right now I feel like I'm moving through January-chilled molasses; my shoulders ache, my head aches, heck, even my eyes ache, and I'm having a hard time keeping them open.
And of course the Infanta chooses this time to (apparently) start a growth spurt and teethe, so she's extra super-duper fussy and clingy. Ah, the joys of motherhood...
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Black Sheep 2009
I finally made it to the famous Black Sheep Gathering! I went with a couple of friends from my local knitting group and assorted spouses and offspring; Snarfy and Mia and I (and the Infanta and Snarfy's boys and husband) carpooled down, and met some other friends there, including Stephania and her husband and houseguest.
I was surprised to find that this year,at least, BSG was actually smaller than Oregon Flock and Fiber Festival; from everything I've heard, I expected it to be bigger. Of course, I didn't check out the wool show, or take any classes...
I also didn't take nearly as many pictures as I wanted. Before lunch, I was a woman on a mission: I had $20, and I wanted to find a new spindle, a smallish one, and maybe a little roving to spin on it. I did finally find a spindle, and I had enough left over to buy a single ounce of merino roving - and I even got a chance to spin a little of it! After lunch, we went and visited the sheep again, and this time I had my camera out. I'm not skilled enough with a camera to take exactly the pictures I'd like, but I hope I captured at least some of the Infanta's delight and utter fascination with the big furries!
I've been slacking with the blogging lately. So easy to let it fall by the wayside when life gets rough, and then so hard to get back into the habit...
I was surprised to find that this year,at least, BSG was actually smaller than Oregon Flock and Fiber Festival; from everything I've heard, I expected it to be bigger. Of course, I didn't check out the wool show, or take any classes...
I also didn't take nearly as many pictures as I wanted. Before lunch, I was a woman on a mission: I had $20, and I wanted to find a new spindle, a smallish one, and maybe a little roving to spin on it. I did finally find a spindle, and I had enough left over to buy a single ounce of merino roving - and I even got a chance to spin a little of it! After lunch, we went and visited the sheep again, and this time I had my camera out. I'm not skilled enough with a camera to take exactly the pictures I'd like, but I hope I captured at least some of the Infanta's delight and utter fascination with the big furries!
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| Black Sheep 2009 |
I've been slacking with the blogging lately. So easy to let it fall by the wayside when life gets rough, and then so hard to get back into the habit...
Monday, June 08, 2009
Lifting the silence
Yesterday's memorial for Baby P was hard, but beautiful. Bethany has spoken better about it than I can, but she is a writer, after all - at least, a more practiced one than I.
I wasn't going to go; I'd only met C once before. But she wrote something in sympathy for my miscarriage that helped the most of what anyone said, and so I felt that I should be there, to lend what support my presence would bring. C said she was glad I came.
I was glad I went: I got to cry. I hadn't yet been able to cry for my own loss; I can't when I'm on duty, and a mom with a toddler is always on duty. So I left the Infanta at home, and joined this amazing community in mourning. And I cried. I cried for Baby P; I cried for C, and for her family; I cried for me, and I cried for my own babe-not-to-be. I'm still very sad today, and weepy here and there. I keep remembering what one of the speakers said: that in the midst of everything else, there is still love. There is always love. And the remembrance makes me want to cry more, but because the thought helps me release my grief, not because it makes me more upset.
There is still love.
I wasn't going to go; I'd only met C once before. But she wrote something in sympathy for my miscarriage that helped the most of what anyone said, and so I felt that I should be there, to lend what support my presence would bring. C said she was glad I came.
I was glad I went: I got to cry. I hadn't yet been able to cry for my own loss; I can't when I'm on duty, and a mom with a toddler is always on duty. So I left the Infanta at home, and joined this amazing community in mourning. And I cried. I cried for Baby P; I cried for C, and for her family; I cried for me, and I cried for my own babe-not-to-be. I'm still very sad today, and weepy here and there. I keep remembering what one of the speakers said: that in the midst of everything else, there is still love. There is always love. And the remembrance makes me want to cry more, but because the thought helps me release my grief, not because it makes me more upset.
There is still love.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
It's a zoo out there!
And now for the promised zoo post. But first: thank you all so very, very much for all your expressions of sympathy. It's been a rough week, and you guys have helped immensely!
Above is the entire set of pictures I took on the trip. I heartily recommend clicking on the link, and then viewing them as a slideshow (button in the upper left corner when you get there). I think I've used up my wittiness in the captions; I hope you enjoy! We had an amazing day, and were very glad that we braved the threatening rain - which to be honest did materialize at points, but never more than lightly or briefly.
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| Zoo trip May 2009 |
Above is the entire set of pictures I took on the trip. I heartily recommend clicking on the link, and then viewing them as a slideshow (button in the upper left corner when you get there). I think I've used up my wittiness in the captions; I hope you enjoy! We had an amazing day, and were very glad that we braved the threatening rain - which to be honest did materialize at points, but never more than lightly or briefly.
Thursday, May 07, 2009
Do I Even Need to Say It?
Posting remains spotty due to a certain fussy, clingy, and frequently over-tired proto-toddler sucking all my energy. Since she is currently passed out on my lap (all I can say is that the $20 Mom spent on my Boppy was some of the best $20 spent on this child...), I figured I'd take the opportunity. Rather than spend the time on, like, surfing Ravelry. I'll do that next; it's easier to juggle with a newly wakened baby (when that happens).
Today has been a perfect example of a Willamette Valley spring day. It has been gorgeous and sunny and pouring rain by turns. This morning we ditched the babywearing meeting, and ended up meeting some friends at the Riverfront Park to watch the toddlers (and proto-toddler) run. While we were at the playground, another mom told us that they were having a story time over at the Carousel. So, we packed the kiddos up (cleverly exchanging which girl rode in which stroller so that Hurricane Tavy would cooperate) and headed over. A nice, grandmotherly woman read stories, played music, guided a coloring activity, and let us all on the carousel for free... and while we were at this, the sky opened up! Since I was walking, my friends started brainstorming ways to get us home (due to two carseats among three babies)... but I figured that the rain would at the very least lighten up enough to allow me to make it to the bus stop. Happily, it stopped entirely, and got positively bright out. My friends and I packed the babies up again, and they wandered with me up the sidewalks to the new pedestrian bridge across the River (I still get flashes of Lord Ken raining Greek fire over the Protectorate turtle boats when I cross it, but I think I always will). And so home, pausing at the local Jamba Juice to wait out the next shower. And now happily posting, with the front door open for the fresh air, a shawl over us to cut the slight chill, and a sweetly napping child in my arms. Does life get better than this?
Today has been a perfect example of a Willamette Valley spring day. It has been gorgeous and sunny and pouring rain by turns. This morning we ditched the babywearing meeting, and ended up meeting some friends at the Riverfront Park to watch the toddlers (and proto-toddler) run. While we were at the playground, another mom told us that they were having a story time over at the Carousel. So, we packed the kiddos up (cleverly exchanging which girl rode in which stroller so that Hurricane Tavy would cooperate) and headed over. A nice, grandmotherly woman read stories, played music, guided a coloring activity, and let us all on the carousel for free... and while we were at this, the sky opened up! Since I was walking, my friends started brainstorming ways to get us home (due to two carseats among three babies)... but I figured that the rain would at the very least lighten up enough to allow me to make it to the bus stop. Happily, it stopped entirely, and got positively bright out. My friends and I packed the babies up again, and they wandered with me up the sidewalks to the new pedestrian bridge across the River (I still get flashes of Lord Ken raining Greek fire over the Protectorate turtle boats when I cross it, but I think I always will). And so home, pausing at the local Jamba Juice to wait out the next shower. And now happily posting, with the front door open for the fresh air, a shawl over us to cut the slight chill, and a sweetly napping child in my arms. Does life get better than this?
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
How many of them can we make die?
I recently introduced one of my knitting friends to S.M. Stirling's Change novels, which she of course thinks are amazing (because they are), and this evening, while we were talking about them, I also decided to tell her about how Juniper, one of the major political leaders in the novels, is based significantly on the folk musician Heather Alexander. Once I had done that, I had to (and if you know anything about this woman, you will know why) find a way to play March of the Cambreadth for my friend; I did a quick google search, and found this video. It's pure icing on the cake that it's also a very nice Final Fantasy AMV.
I remember going and seeing Heather in concert at this little coffee house somewhere in San Francisco; when she started playing this, we naturally all sang along. We got the windows of the place rattling, and were totally ready to go KILL!!!!!
I remember going and seeing Heather in concert at this little coffee house somewhere in San Francisco; when she started playing this, we naturally all sang along. We got the windows of the place rattling, and were totally ready to go KILL!!!!!
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
No Foolin'
Sunday afternoon I was inspired to try out a diaper pattern I'd gotten at my local quilting store. I pulled out some receiving blankets that had never worked well for me (square > rectangle, just in case you're wondering) as well as a few of the microfiber washcloths I got last summer for just this sort of purpose.
Unfortunately, I turned out not to be able to cut more than one diaper out of a single blanket, but I figure I can use the scraps for moon pads.
Also, I probably wouldn't have had to use so many pins to get the topstitching looking good if I'd pressed it first. But it worked, and I didn't have to get out of my chair. :) Altogether, the project took probably an hour or an hour and a half; Josh wrangled the Infanta, and then we went over to Bethany's for dinner. The diaper? Works great, although I think I'll lengthen it a bit next time I make some.
I've been dressing the Infanta in jeans and dresses a lot lately. It's a cute, convenient and (I hope) comfortable combo. The above shot was taken Monday night, after she'd been at Bethany's in the afternoon - yay for baby-free time for Mama!
Then I watched the Hurricane in return for a couple of hours yesterday. This is how she insisted on being dressed: jeans, a dress, and shoes *with* socks. If she'd had Robeez, she would probably have insisted on wearing them. Oh, and she's got a new word - Socks! Can we say Best Friends Forever? Bethany and I are highly amused; on the other hand, I'm beginning to be afeared for fifteens years from now, when they start thinking about boys....
Unfortunately, I turned out not to be able to cut more than one diaper out of a single blanket, but I figure I can use the scraps for moon pads.
Also, I probably wouldn't have had to use so many pins to get the topstitching looking good if I'd pressed it first. But it worked, and I didn't have to get out of my chair. :) Altogether, the project took probably an hour or an hour and a half; Josh wrangled the Infanta, and then we went over to Bethany's for dinner. The diaper? Works great, although I think I'll lengthen it a bit next time I make some.
I've been dressing the Infanta in jeans and dresses a lot lately. It's a cute, convenient and (I hope) comfortable combo. The above shot was taken Monday night, after she'd been at Bethany's in the afternoon - yay for baby-free time for Mama!
Then I watched the Hurricane in return for a couple of hours yesterday. This is how she insisted on being dressed: jeans, a dress, and shoes *with* socks. If she'd had Robeez, she would probably have insisted on wearing them. Oh, and she's got a new word - Socks! Can we say Best Friends Forever? Bethany and I are highly amused; on the other hand, I'm beginning to be afeared for fifteens years from now, when they start thinking about boys....
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Very cool vid
We're having a few folks over to play board games today, so I can't post much. Still, I saw this very cool video that I thought y'all would appreciate.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Hurricane Tavy
I haven't posted many Infanta pictures lately, so here're a couple.
The baldy in the top photo is Bethany's daughter Tavy (short for Octavia), whom I've begun watching for a couple of hours at a time now and then so that Mom can get some grading done. It's working out well so far; despite being 8 months apart, the girls like each other, and Tavy likes me, so we're getting along pretty amicably. And although Tavy is just as much a Velcro Girl as the Infanta, she's used enough to Mom going off for a couple of hours at a time that she hasn't raised too much of a fuss. Yet.
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