I always feel like a hero when I get the Infanta to sleep with some time left in the evening to not be a mom for a bit. It's totally dorky, but I often come prancing out of the bedroom flexing my biceps victoriously: I am Super Mom! I got the baby to sleep before we all went to bed! I suppose I react this way because it's a relatively rare event; although I usually try to get Herself to sleep earlier in the evening, I don't generally manage it. Well, I managed it tonight! Got some good reading in while I was at it, too.
I needed a parenting win tonight, too. I went off to knitting today feeling like a totally bad mom - not because of the Infanta's pretty purple bruise, either. No, I don't feel bad because my rubber baby bounced off a corner; babies are made of rubber (within reason), and this isn't her first bruise, and will by no means be her last. The issue rather is that I feel like I've been completely withdrawing from "being a Mom"; I sit and knit and tell the Infanta not to pull all of Daddy's game collection off the shelf, rather than get down and play with her or teach her things. Some of that feeling is residual from low brain med levels, but it's also genuinely what happens. I'll sit down with my email and blogroll or my knitting; the Infanta will wander off to do whatever strikes her fancy with what's available (and she has no paucity of toys), and ten minutes later she's pawing at the lappy or happily unshelving games, or something else we really don't want her to do. And I'm really, really bad at getting down on the floor and playing with her. I knew I would be, but... I didn't understand how exactly that would play out in reality. Also, I feel like I should be teaching her things (and I don't just mean modeling daily life), and I'm not. At least, I don't think I am... But I don't want to turn into a "flash card mom", either, just... I don't know.
What's really getting me down is that I'm a "bad" mom, and I want another baby?! I'm totally insane.
With the weather getting so nice, we need to get out and spend more time with other moms and babies. Maybe that will help me realize that all the other moms are totally flying by the seats of their pants, too.