I had a rotten morning. Every once in a while I remember how very lonely I am here; I'm not good at making close friends, and that's when I'm regularly participating in activities that put me in frequent, nay, daily contact with other people. In my current life, I don't see many other people at all, and the few I do see, I only see once a month or so, if that. My geographically nearest best friend is hundreds of miles away, and while we're in frequent email contact, it's not the same as when we used to sit at the coffee shop on campus and talk about classes, instructors, and life in general. Combine this loneliness with pregnancy hormones and morning sickness that currently feels like it's not going to go away for six or seven months, not to mention throw me new and surprising curve balls each of those months to come (last month I exchanged constant nausea for vomiting, this month it's rotten headaches that are almost worse than the vomiting, who knows what next month will bring), and you have a recipe for breakdown. Which I did. I'm not usually one to cry a lot, but this morning I pretty well soaked my favorite hanky. I would have soaked Josh's shoulder, too (he was home for lunch), but he was wearing his jacket. I'm still feeling pretty damp around the edges, but I'm at least presentable. I tried to nap while watching a movie, a favorite "lullaby" technique; while I didn't actually sleep, I did rest and collect myself somewhat. When it was over, the sun was actually shining, so I decided to throw some clothes on and get out of the house for a bit by walking the whole block and a half to our local Borders to drink a beverage and stare at knitting books I can't buy today.
Which was not a mistake! Staring at the (somewhat limited) knitting shelves, I actually found a copy of Stephanie Japel's Fitted Knits, a book I had not previously had a chance to meet in the flesh. I want this book! (I wishlisted it. ;P ) I'm not entirely sure what I think about all of Japel's knitting philosophy, and as a pregnant mama planning to be breastfeeding this time next year the extreme fittedness of most of the designs felt a touch lacking (although in previous stages of my life I would have been swooning - those parts of me still were :) ). Still, there were aspects at least in every design that I liked and want to adapt for my own work - I'm not really into bulky knits, but hers at least have intriguing details I want to borrow. There were several designs I want to make as written (well, almost!), such as the coat with lace lapels, or the pretty summery dress, or Elizabeth Bennet's Cardigan, which seemed more 1950s than 1810s to me, but was gorgeous and covet-worthy nonetheless. I don't often find designs in knitting books that I want to make as written!