Do I Even Need to Say It?

Posting remains spotty due to a certain fussy, clingy, and frequently over-tired proto-toddler sucking all my energy. Since she is currently passed out on my lap (all I can say is that the $20 Mom spent on my Boppy was some of the best $20 spent on this child...), I figured I'd take the opportunity. Rather than spend the time on, like, surfing Ravelry. I'll do that next; it's easier to juggle with a newly wakened baby (when that happens).

Today has been a perfect example of a Willamette Valley spring day. It has been gorgeous and sunny and pouring rain by turns. This morning we ditched the babywearing meeting, and ended up meeting some friends at the Riverfront Park to watch the toddlers (and proto-toddler) run. While we were at the playground, another mom told us that they were having a story time over at the Carousel. So, we packed the kiddos up (cleverly exchanging which girl rode in which stroller so that Hurricane Tavy would cooperate) and headed over. A nice, grandmotherly woman read stories, played music, guided a coloring activity, and let us all on the carousel for free... and while we were at this, the sky opened up! Since I was walking, my friends started brainstorming ways to get us home (due to two carseats among three babies)... but I figured that the rain would at the very least lighten up enough to allow me to make it to the bus stop. Happily, it stopped entirely, and got positively bright out. My friends and I packed the babies up again, and they wandered with me up the sidewalks to the new pedestrian bridge across the River (I still get flashes of Lord Ken raining Greek fire over the Protectorate turtle boats when I cross it, but I think I always will). And so home, pausing at the local Jamba Juice to wait out the next shower. And now happily posting, with the front door open for the fresh air, a shawl over us to cut the slight chill, and a sweetly napping child in my arms. Does life get better than this?

Walkin' on, Walkin' on~

Eleven months, four days. That's how long she's been wanting to do this. Well, only better.

eta: I realize that she doesn't look very coordinated in this video - but that's because she's tuckered out after standing on her own for 10-20 seconds at a time and occasionally taking off, just as she does above.

Thank you.

Everyone's comments and words of support mean a great deal to me, and I'm feeling much better. The strain's telling on me overall, though; I've had a lot of people in the last couple of days asking me if I'm ok and telling me I look tired. Well, I am tired! I'm mother to an eleven-month-old! And I'm fighting off a cold on top of it.

Happily, said baby is asleep - I left her in the now-properly-side-carred crib before 8:15! We'll see if she's actually down for the night, but it would be so nice if she were... Now to wade through all this laundry, and see if I can crash early, myself.

Mom, the hero.

I always feel like a hero when I get the Infanta to sleep with some time left in the evening to not be a mom for a bit. It's totally dorky, but I often come prancing out of the bedroom flexing my biceps victoriously: I am Super Mom! I got the baby to sleep before we all went to bed! I suppose I react this way because it's a relatively rare event; although I usually try to get Herself to sleep earlier in the evening, I don't generally manage it. Well, I managed it tonight! Got some good reading in while I was at it, too.

I needed a parenting win tonight, too. I went off to knitting today feeling like a totally bad mom - not because of the Infanta's pretty purple bruise, either. No, I don't feel bad because my rubber baby bounced off a corner; babies are made of rubber (within reason), and this isn't her first bruise, and will by no means be her last. The issue rather is that I feel like I've been completely withdrawing from "being a Mom"; I sit and knit and tell the Infanta not to pull all of Daddy's game collection off the shelf, rather than get down and play with her or teach her things. Some of that feeling is residual from low brain med levels, but it's also genuinely what happens. I'll sit down with my email and blogroll or my knitting; the Infanta will wander off to do whatever strikes her fancy with what's available (and she has no paucity of toys), and ten minutes later she's pawing at the lappy or happily unshelving games, or something else we really don't want her to do. And I'm really, really bad at getting down on the floor and playing with her. I knew I would be, but... I didn't understand how exactly that would play out in reality. Also, I feel like I should be teaching her things (and I don't just mean modeling daily life), and I'm not. At least, I don't think I am... But I don't want to turn into a "flash card mom", either, just... I don't know.

What's really getting me down is that I'm a "bad" mom, and I want another baby?! I'm totally insane.

With the weather getting so nice, we need to get out and spend more time with other moms and babies. Maybe that will help me realize that all the other moms are totally flying by the seats of their pants, too.

Owie!!!

This is not the Infanta's first bruise, but it will probably be her biggest so far. She was toppling off my lap - completely self-propelled - and slammed her cheekbone into the corner of the lappy. Oh, the howling! She tolerated an ice pack on the bruise for a couple of minutes, but then, once she was past the initial insult, started munching on it. I dabbed a little Burt's Bees Res-Q ointment on it (the shiny you see in the picture), but it's sure to develop into a real shiner.

Mama's back on meds

As many of you know, I take an antidepressant. Because of trying to conceive, I decided to at least try weaning off it. Well, after two weeks at a half dose, I went without for two whole days... and had a huge anxiety attack today, complete with yelling at my dear, darling (fussy, clingy) daughter. This was not ok, so I'm going back on a half dose until further notice.

I wish my brain chemistry didn't need help this way, but it does. *sigh*

This just in!

Rixa's birth story. Gorgeous. Makes my uterus spasm. Well, more than it was anyway. *grin*

Eleven Months

The Infanta is eleven months old tomorrow. She is babbling up a storm, getting into EVERYTHING, and sooo close to walking. When she "plays" on the keyboard, she "sings" along, and if she happens to hit the drum machine button, she full on RAWKS OUT!!! Today, she started pushing off whatever she was propping herself against, and standing on her own for 5 or so seconds at a time. She grabs our hands to go walking often, and if she's on my lap with a pile of goldfish in front of us, she will reach out for the crackers, asking for some. She's happy and inquisitive, and definitely has as strong a will as either of her parents.

You will no doubt have noticed that my posting has been somewhat sporadic recently. This is because the Infanta's rapidly developing self is demanding more and more of my time and energy, and taking care of myself and my baby is more important than my blog. Besides, half the time, about all I have to say is, "I'm exhausted", which has got to be as boring to read as it is to post. ;P

Spring Yarn Crawl

I cannot describe it better than Karen, so I refer you to her post.

Now for my loot (all Ravelry links here). I came away with one skein Malabrigo sock yarn, two skeins Malabrigo worsted (for soakers!), one ball Schoppel Wolle Zauberball (that's the really luminous stuff I'm holding in Karen's picture), one ball Crystal Palace Maizy, one silver and amber stitch marker, and a really gorgeous carved wood button. One button, you say?! I'm figuring for, like, a February Lady sweater, or something similar. Besides, I couldn't afford more!



Our portion of the group did split off to Pix, which is a totally amazing place, and then hit Yarn Garden before heading back south. All in all, a fantastic day, even if I did manage to lose my phone right at the beginning!

Even more exciting? I finished Mom's socks with all the car knitting time! Mom, keep an eye out for a Mother's Day package.

Because I'm gravelled tonight.

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

I love...

teething tablets. I may get some sleep tonight after all.

Because, now that those upper incisors are more or less through, the Infanta is starting on her lower canines.

How many of them can we make die?

I recently introduced one of my knitting friends to S.M. Stirling's Change novels, which she of course thinks are amazing (because they are), and this evening, while we were talking about them, I also decided to tell her about how Juniper, one of the major political leaders in the novels, is based significantly on the folk musician Heather Alexander. Once I had done that, I had to (and if you know anything about this woman, you will know why) find a way to play March of the Cambreadth for my friend; I did a quick google search, and found this video. It's pure icing on the cake that it's also a very nice Final Fantasy AMV.



I remember going and seeing Heather in concert at this little coffee house somewhere in San Francisco; when she started playing this, we naturally all sang along. We got the windows of the place rattling, and were totally ready to go KILL!!!!!

So I finally watched the pilot miniseries for Battlestar Galactica today, and I have one question for you all. Why in the name of Asimov hadn't one of you tied me to a chair and made me watch this YEARS ago?!

Oh, yes, Jamie Bamber is even cuter than when I first saw him back on Hornblower. Weird hearing him with an American accent, though, let alone trying to wrap my mind around him as the son of Edward James Olmos...

Do I even need to make remarks about the hotness of Starbuck? I didn't think so.

To complete my geekery, I'm going to have to find the pennies to acquire the Viper Pilots sock pattern (Ravelry link), and make them forthwith. Life is hard when you're a geek knitter.

If you're happy and you know it..

The Infanta has now discovered how to clap her hands. Happily, she doesn't yet know how to do it effectively enough to actually make a big noise, so her doing it for minutes on end is just cute, not irritating.

On another note, one of my fellow doulas made a suggestion this evening about a simple knitted product that would probably sell like hotcakes to a certain population. This bears thought...

Chez Geek

In this case, I'm not referring to the card game, but our occupation this afternoon. We took an absolutely lovely spring afternoon, and spent it playing board games in good company. Lots of fun, but I'm totally pooped now.

Hand in hand

I didn't get my pics uploaded at knitting like I hoped, but when I came home, I decided this needed to be recorded.

Yup.

Yup, I did consciously skip posting last night.

We went over to my IL's place on the spur of the moment last night, to hang out with my BIL and play Agricola with him (he's in town this week for his daughter's birthday). Alas, we arrived at the time we're usually departing, and so the Infanta spent pretty much the entire time screaming unless she was attached to boob (I think it's a growth spurt, combined with separation anxiety). Combined with my FIL's modesty about breastfeeding, and things were a bit... complicated. So, by the time we got home (at an hour in which we're usually in bed), all I wanted to do was fall over and pass out, even with babe connected to boob. Josh was kind enough to enthusiastically potter around and get me the bits and pieces I needed to feather my nest.

I have a sneaking suspicion (ok, an already made decision) that I'll be bringing Herself to knitting with me today; even if I don't get much actual knitting done, I desperately need the social time!

I also plan to bring the camera, lappy, and assorted cables so I can do little things like upload and post the pictures from the tulip farm...

I'm tired.

The last couple of days have been very long; lots of exciting things happening (such as the visit to the tulip farm this morning, of which I do have pictures...), and then topped off by a certain wanna-be toddler who's not going to sleep well. So while I have been in the habit of posting at around this time of day, I was just too tired out from, among other things, wrangling the Infanta. Hence no post yesterday, and a very spare one tonight. I'm hoping to get pictures posted this weekend.

I'm a big girl now!

I would ask forgiveness for the blurriness, but what can I say, they're action shots. If you can't tell, these are the Infanta walking with help; the top is her standing on her own (for mere seconds at a time, but who's counting?).

In which money is spent.

At our family Easter dinner yesterday, my sister in law told us that the sporting goods store formerly known as G.I. Joe's is going out of business. I don't know if it's just the one here in town, or if it's chain-wide, but it doesn't much matter for our practical purposes.

So tonight, when Josh had decided for assorted reasons that don't matter here that we were going to go out for dinner, and we ended up at the local Sonic, located just a couple of blocks from the Joe's, it seemed inevitable that we would end up wandering its bargain-hunter-crowded aisles in search of bargains ourselves. (How's that for a sentence?) Thing is, we really want to be able to go camping, and the gear we have is really pretty minimal, so we took this opportunity to improve our equipment. We're still going to be working with our previously minimalist setup (teeny tent, one ancient sleeping bag that has to be supplemented with blankets, no padding...), but at least we have a few improvements. We bought a roll-up table, a lantern, a few camp dishes, a ground cloth... Oh, and a baby bicycle helmet, in case we manage to get bicycles we like any time soon. So, not a ton of things, and we'll still be bringing a fair amount out of the house next time we attempt camping, but a few more refinements. These things take time...