Updates..

I envy moms who find the time to post frequently with more than one small child. Maybe it's me, maybe it's my particular kids; most likely it's a combination (I never have been great at regular posting).

Elessar has been a challenge, and I'm convinced she's made it her mission in life to make sure I know she's a different person from her sister. After a couple of weeks of hours of screaming, we figured out that she's sensitive to dairy. So I've had to give up my beloved cheese... Fortunately I can still have butter and goat cheese, so I'm not entirely bereft, but it's not been easy to revamp my menu to be dairy-free. Elessar is now a very happy baby, but we're in deep trouble - she rolled over at 4 weeks, and at 2 months she's been working hard on crawling for a couple of weeks now. I would not be surprised if she crawls before 6 months.

The Infanta has been very needy as well. She hasn't turned any anger against her sister (yet), but she's definitely in the fast lane to becoming a "threenager", alternating classic toddler tantrums with intense Mama-need and utter sweetness.

Between the two - Elessar with complete physical dependence and the Infanta with major emotional neediness - I'm stretched to my limit. Fortunately I do have a good outlet with my knitting group (I go to every session for my mental health!), and I have an AMAZING support network and community of friends both near and far. I had a very bad night a few days ago, and posted a call for help on Facebook; by morning an acquaintance was at my house, washing every dish in my kitchen, and calls and messages of support are still rolling in! I'm convinced this is part of what it means that "it takes a village to raise a child" - when they're this small, mothers need community help just to function as much as the children need to learn from others when they're older.

Two weeks in..

I don't have time to post, but I thought y'all would like to know that Elessar arrived two weeks ago today, safe and sound, no complications. I want to write up her birth story soon, but here're the vital stats until then.




Elinor Lily, born December 17, 2010 at 1:44 am, weighing 7 pounds 6.5 ounces, and measuring 20 inches long. Things are going well, if very busy, juggling Elessar and the Infanta, but we haven't imploded... yet.

Weaning: A Bedtime Story

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful baby girl whom her mother called the Infanta. This little girl loved to nurse. From just moments after she was born, she nursed strongly and well, and she and her mother were fortunate to have none of the problems that so many other mothers and babies have. She loved nursing so much that she had no interest in grown-up food until after her first birthday, and her mother's milk nourished her perfectly.

As time went on, the little girl nursed less, although she never stopped wanting her mother's snuggly arms. Soon after the little girl turned two years old, she stopped nursing altogether; her mother was growing another baby, and had stopped making milk. This was sad for them both, and the Infanta continued to ask to nurse. Although her mother didn't let her nurse, she never stopped offering snuggles. The little girl wanted to be close with her mother, and so although she begged to nurse, she grudgingly accepted the snuggles in place of nursing.

One teary night, after the Infanta went to bed, the mother realized that she needed to figure out how to tell her little girl that she wouldn't get to nurse after the baby was born. So, she had a conversation with a dear friend, and decided to write this story. Nursing is special, and every mother and child who are able to even briefly form a unique bond because of it; but it's not something anyone can do forever. That bond never fades, though, and every mother's arms are always open to her children.

Just a quick note..

For all of you who haven't given up on me completely:

32 weeks and counting! The Infanta was a reassuringly active baby; Elessar is a positive acrobat! When s/he's awake, I never know quite where I'm going to feel kicks/shoves/punches. S/he is, however, beginning to favor a head-down position, which is reassuring. My SPD is a pain in the arse - literally, as my sacrum is tending to be quite sore - but chiropractic care and knowing more about how to not make it worse is helping me to manage it.

A photographer friend and I went out this weekend and did a belly photo shoot. The few shots I saw were absolutely amazing, and as soon as she gets the disk of finished photos to me, I plan to post them, well, everywhere.

Part of the reason posting has been so scant in the last months is that the Infanta has hit 2.5 early and hard. I don't know why it took me so long to realize that, and to remember that her pattern her whole life has been that she hits her half-year disruptions early and hard, but once I did remember, it has made coping a lot easier. It's still difficult, especially as I'm feeling like a beached whale and mostly unable to move without pain, but at least I understand what's going on.

Edited to add: I know I'm not posting often, but I do tweet a fair amount. If you don't already track my twitterstream, I have a gadget that shows it over on the left.

Catching up

How has it been a month since my last post? Pregnancy, knitting, chasing toddlers, trying to get enough rest... it's pretty all-absorbing.

I've been working on a lot of baby knits - surprise, surprise. I've even finished a couple of things! I had a half-assed idea that I would take pictures of my FOs and WIPs, and possibly even a belly pic! but I'm tired and achy after OFFF yesterday. Also, it's raining.. and I'm having a great deal of trouble wanting to do anything but listen to the rain, work on baby knits, and watch TV.

The Infanta permitting, I'm planning to take and post those pictures this week.

O Hai

Because it's been a horrid week, and this made me smile just now when I really needed it.

Not dead, just busy

Summer has been busy, with visits from family and friends, not to mention our own activities. Plus, there's the whole surviving the heat thing.


Goofy Girl is goofy.


22w 3d

But I figure that it's been six weeks since I posted, so I thought I'd put up a bump shot. Seriously folks, I look like I did at 34ish weeks with the Infanta! Elessar is doing fine; very squirmy, and with all the right parts. I'm not enjoying the summer part of this pregnancy, but it will pass, and I'm good with everything else - especially since I have a lovely chiropractor is working hard on reducing my pelvic pain!

And yes, it was cool enough this morning that I'm wearing a sweater and jeans.

Wordless Wednesday: 16 weeks

...And then Buffy staked Edward. The End.

I used to have a button that read that, as my personal protest against the whole Twilight fad. Sadly, it fell off my bag a few months ago, and my friend hasn't made me another.

But then J sent me this video this morning, and it made me very, very happy indeed.



ETA: For a knitterly take, look here.

Thoughts of a Thursday

* I've made it to the second trimester! By some definitions, anyway. Others say it's not til next week. Either way, I've made it past 12 weeks, when the chances for miscarriage drop to nigh-miniscule.

* I'm trying to make myself believe that I really am pregnant, and that I really will be having a baby at the end of this year. I'm oddly detached still. With the Infanta I was so excited, so in love with my baby; this time, while I want it so much (I think ;) ), my innocence is lost and I'm a lot more reserved about bonding. I'm really looking forward to my next appointment, and the reassurance of hearing the heartbeat. I really want to feel movement... but it's too soon for that.

* The Infanta is 2. How did that happen?! She's still very sweet, bright, and usually well-behaved, but she does throw a fit every now and then. I find that the fits happen less if I give her some warning about a change that's going to happen - we're leaving the park, it's time to get dressed, time for bed, etc. That way she gets to process her reaction and is often leading the way by the time it's actually time to go! I need to remember her transition process more often; it's how I work, after all.

* Well, we're still nursing. Sort of. The Infanta has begun asking to nurse at times that we haven't at nursed in months, and the bedtime nursing is often either hard-fought (on my part) or a delay tactic (on hers). Between her lazy toddler latch and my pregnancy-sore breasts, as well as my bare trickle of a supply, nursing is very painful for me and pretty unsatisfying for her. I'm very close to calling it quits for good, but I can't quite bring myself to yet. I'm pretty sure I don't want to tandem nurse (I don't anymore, anyway), but I'm just not quite there on stopping with my darling girl.

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Sugar and Spice and Puppy Dog's Tails

* The Infanta's going to be two in a week. Where did the time go?!

* I'm still pregnant - 10 weeks tomorrow! Morning sickness held off while I had a ferocious cold, but came roaring in when the cold left. It's not as bad as I remember from the Infanta's pregnancy... or maybe I know more about coping? I do keep having thoughts about "why did I think this was a good idea again?"

* My SPD is kicking in. Not so much in front, although I've had a few itchy twinges there, but more in my left sacro-iliac joint. If I didn't know better I might say it was sciatica, but I do know better. I really hope it doesn't get any more painful than it is right now, but again, I know better. I guess I'd better get a form for a temp handicapped placard for my midwife to fill out sooner rather than later. Maybe when we go by the DMV to renew my permit?

* Having no (or almost no) knitting mojo thanks to first trimester exhaustion is really frustrating. Okay, first trimester exhaustion is frustrating all on its own, but not being able to knit much really sucks. So many things I want to work on, so little energy to do it with... so I'm focusing on J's father's day socks, and hoping I'll be able to get them done in time.

* I'm liking doing the Wordless Wednesday thing, because it means I'm actually actively taking pictures, *and* getting them off my camera.

Wordless Thursday: Fun in the Sun

Wordless Wednesday

Just by the by, all the pictures I post that look awesome were probably taken by Josh. All the others I probably took. I have my gifts, but genius in graphic arts isn't among them.

Elessar: 8 weeks

I would tend to guess that most folks might look at me and think "too much Taco Bell", but I know that's scarcely the case. No, my belly has officially popped out! Already... how big am I going to get this time?! Only time will tell.

Mother's Day Musings

Last year was my first Mother's Day with a child outside my body (the year before the Infanta still had three weeks to cook). I was also miscarrying, and knew it (though I hoped very much that I wasn't). So I think Mother's Day will always be tinged by the sadness of remembering a child that was not to be.

However, this year I'm almost eight weeks pregnant, with every sign, including morning sickness and an almost complete lack of knitting mojo, that this one's going to go all the way. I'm even starting to show! (Although if you didn't know me well you might just think I've had too many sodas; I'll try to get a picture up in the next couple of days.) After so many losses in the last year, I'm still anxious about whether Elessar will stay with us, but I'm cautiously excited that I'll have a new baby by the year's end. Mostly right now I'm just tired and sick (I have a cold on top of the morning sickness); those two don't leave much room for anything else between them.

Wordless Wednesday

In the interest of soothing certain grandmotherly desires for more posts, I'm succumbing to a meme. :)

Introducing Elessar

At six weeks, she/he/it looks more like one of my earrings than anything else, but that should, I trust, improve with time.

Snapshots in time

I'm sitting playing a computer game while dinner cooks, and listening to L read to herself. She's sitting on her bed, paging through books we've read to her, narrating the stories, identifying animals when she knows them, and even making the right noise from time to time. We can always tell when she's reading her Thomas book, from the exclamations of "Thoma'" and "Moo! Moo!" (there's a cow on the tracks at one point that Thomas must wait for).

I dearly hope that she retains her sweet, intelligent charm as she grows older.