Mama's back on meds

As many of you know, I take an antidepressant. Because of trying to conceive, I decided to at least try weaning off it. Well, after two weeks at a half dose, I went without for two whole days... and had a huge anxiety attack today, complete with yelling at my dear, darling (fussy, clingy) daughter. This was not ok, so I'm going back on a half dose until further notice.

I wish my brain chemistry didn't need help this way, but it does. *sigh*

This just in!

Rixa's birth story. Gorgeous. Makes my uterus spasm. Well, more than it was anyway. *grin*

Eleven Months

The Infanta is eleven months old tomorrow. She is babbling up a storm, getting into EVERYTHING, and sooo close to walking. When she "plays" on the keyboard, she "sings" along, and if she happens to hit the drum machine button, she full on RAWKS OUT!!! Today, she started pushing off whatever she was propping herself against, and standing on her own for 5 or so seconds at a time. She grabs our hands to go walking often, and if she's on my lap with a pile of goldfish in front of us, she will reach out for the crackers, asking for some. She's happy and inquisitive, and definitely has as strong a will as either of her parents.

You will no doubt have noticed that my posting has been somewhat sporadic recently. This is because the Infanta's rapidly developing self is demanding more and more of my time and energy, and taking care of myself and my baby is more important than my blog. Besides, half the time, about all I have to say is, "I'm exhausted", which has got to be as boring to read as it is to post. ;P

Spring Yarn Crawl

I cannot describe it better than Karen, so I refer you to her post.

Now for my loot (all Ravelry links here). I came away with one skein Malabrigo sock yarn, two skeins Malabrigo worsted (for soakers!), one ball Schoppel Wolle Zauberball (that's the really luminous stuff I'm holding in Karen's picture), one ball Crystal Palace Maizy, one silver and amber stitch marker, and a really gorgeous carved wood button. One button, you say?! I'm figuring for, like, a February Lady sweater, or something similar. Besides, I couldn't afford more!



Our portion of the group did split off to Pix, which is a totally amazing place, and then hit Yarn Garden before heading back south. All in all, a fantastic day, even if I did manage to lose my phone right at the beginning!

Even more exciting? I finished Mom's socks with all the car knitting time! Mom, keep an eye out for a Mother's Day package.

Because I'm gravelled tonight.

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

I love...

teething tablets. I may get some sleep tonight after all.

Because, now that those upper incisors are more or less through, the Infanta is starting on her lower canines.

How many of them can we make die?

I recently introduced one of my knitting friends to S.M. Stirling's Change novels, which she of course thinks are amazing (because they are), and this evening, while we were talking about them, I also decided to tell her about how Juniper, one of the major political leaders in the novels, is based significantly on the folk musician Heather Alexander. Once I had done that, I had to (and if you know anything about this woman, you will know why) find a way to play March of the Cambreadth for my friend; I did a quick google search, and found this video. It's pure icing on the cake that it's also a very nice Final Fantasy AMV.



I remember going and seeing Heather in concert at this little coffee house somewhere in San Francisco; when she started playing this, we naturally all sang along. We got the windows of the place rattling, and were totally ready to go KILL!!!!!

So I finally watched the pilot miniseries for Battlestar Galactica today, and I have one question for you all. Why in the name of Asimov hadn't one of you tied me to a chair and made me watch this YEARS ago?!

Oh, yes, Jamie Bamber is even cuter than when I first saw him back on Hornblower. Weird hearing him with an American accent, though, let alone trying to wrap my mind around him as the son of Edward James Olmos...

Do I even need to make remarks about the hotness of Starbuck? I didn't think so.

To complete my geekery, I'm going to have to find the pennies to acquire the Viper Pilots sock pattern (Ravelry link), and make them forthwith. Life is hard when you're a geek knitter.

If you're happy and you know it..

The Infanta has now discovered how to clap her hands. Happily, she doesn't yet know how to do it effectively enough to actually make a big noise, so her doing it for minutes on end is just cute, not irritating.

On another note, one of my fellow doulas made a suggestion this evening about a simple knitted product that would probably sell like hotcakes to a certain population. This bears thought...

Chez Geek

In this case, I'm not referring to the card game, but our occupation this afternoon. We took an absolutely lovely spring afternoon, and spent it playing board games in good company. Lots of fun, but I'm totally pooped now.

Hand in hand

I didn't get my pics uploaded at knitting like I hoped, but when I came home, I decided this needed to be recorded.

Yup.

Yup, I did consciously skip posting last night.

We went over to my IL's place on the spur of the moment last night, to hang out with my BIL and play Agricola with him (he's in town this week for his daughter's birthday). Alas, we arrived at the time we're usually departing, and so the Infanta spent pretty much the entire time screaming unless she was attached to boob (I think it's a growth spurt, combined with separation anxiety). Combined with my FIL's modesty about breastfeeding, and things were a bit... complicated. So, by the time we got home (at an hour in which we're usually in bed), all I wanted to do was fall over and pass out, even with babe connected to boob. Josh was kind enough to enthusiastically potter around and get me the bits and pieces I needed to feather my nest.

I have a sneaking suspicion (ok, an already made decision) that I'll be bringing Herself to knitting with me today; even if I don't get much actual knitting done, I desperately need the social time!

I also plan to bring the camera, lappy, and assorted cables so I can do little things like upload and post the pictures from the tulip farm...

I'm tired.

The last couple of days have been very long; lots of exciting things happening (such as the visit to the tulip farm this morning, of which I do have pictures...), and then topped off by a certain wanna-be toddler who's not going to sleep well. So while I have been in the habit of posting at around this time of day, I was just too tired out from, among other things, wrangling the Infanta. Hence no post yesterday, and a very spare one tonight. I'm hoping to get pictures posted this weekend.

I'm a big girl now!

I would ask forgiveness for the blurriness, but what can I say, they're action shots. If you can't tell, these are the Infanta walking with help; the top is her standing on her own (for mere seconds at a time, but who's counting?).

In which money is spent.

At our family Easter dinner yesterday, my sister in law told us that the sporting goods store formerly known as G.I. Joe's is going out of business. I don't know if it's just the one here in town, or if it's chain-wide, but it doesn't much matter for our practical purposes.

So tonight, when Josh had decided for assorted reasons that don't matter here that we were going to go out for dinner, and we ended up at the local Sonic, located just a couple of blocks from the Joe's, it seemed inevitable that we would end up wandering its bargain-hunter-crowded aisles in search of bargains ourselves. (How's that for a sentence?) Thing is, we really want to be able to go camping, and the gear we have is really pretty minimal, so we took this opportunity to improve our equipment. We're still going to be working with our previously minimalist setup (teeny tent, one ancient sleeping bag that has to be supplemented with blankets, no padding...), but at least we have a few improvements. We bought a roll-up table, a lantern, a few camp dishes, a ground cloth... Oh, and a baby bicycle helmet, in case we manage to get bicycles we like any time soon. So, not a ton of things, and we'll still be bringing a fair amount out of the house next time we attempt camping, but a few more refinements. These things take time...

Here's where the moms in the audience hate me.

You see, I seem to be smaller than pre-pregnancy size. I have a couple of pairs of jeans that I couldn't wear in the months before I got pregnant - and they're now too loose. That's happened before, and I'm sure it will happen again (the part where they're too small, that is).

But the thing that's surprising to me is that my bras seem to be too big around! Cup size - well, I'm still nursing, of course, so that's somewhere between a C and a D, depending. But I'd been noticing recently that my one real nursing bra has been... loose recently. Okay, I figure I've been wearing it pretty regularly for the last almost-year, it's probably stretched some... but really, I haven't had it all that long, and I *don't* wear it every day. Today, though, I wore a non-nursing bra, one with (brace yourself) underwires, and it was also too big! This was a bra I'd worn last spring, when my pregnancy-enhanced bust was too confined by my previous underwear, so I only wore it for about three months. Although I only paid $5 for it, it's in quite good shape. Today I put it on (it's a 36D, with lightly padded demi cups), and it was both too big and too small - the cups were a bit skimpy (not necessarily bad when you need to nurse in a bra not designed for it), and the band was too loose! So it appears that I may be in the unenviable position of needing to find a nursing bra in size 34D. I never thought I'd ever be looking for that size...

I suppose that this means I'm living proof of how breastfeeding can lead to weight loss.

Why oh why

..do I wait until it's so late that I'm too tired to be coherent, in order to post?

I've been doing some birthy reading again, and have a few thoughts to share. But not tonight, Herself needs to go to bed.

Unnspired

I actually have a fair amount I could post about today. For example, I could talk about how the Teether kept us both from sleeping at all well last night. Or about how I randomly went to the LLL meeting this morning, and came home as our new librarian. Or the three-hour nap-with-babe this afternoon during which the cat who tolerates me insisted on snuggling. I just don't want to. Blame it on lack of sleep, probably...

Just us girls

Tonight's the first night of me missing the D&D game to take care of my baby. On the one hand, I want to play, dangit! On the other hand, I'm not missing the posturing and drama that tend to go with the group's get-togethers. I'm looking forward to sitting down with a movie and some of Amy's Toasted Coconut-Chocolate Chunk Yummies! The which I've been craving for several days now, and am finally getting around to making.

Morning Girl

Long day

I started with short sleep due to staying up entirely too late reading and compounded by a baby who squirmed next to me all night. I then woke earlier than usual, as I've been trying to do in an attempt to help said baby sleep earlier. Next thing I know, I'm chasing the Hurricane (but at least I volunteered.. and Bethany will chase the Infanta for me later in the week in exchange..). That pretty much wiped me out.

Except that while the Infanta was napping this afternoon, I started another pair of the bloomers, this time withe the intent of adding a skirt layer. Should be very cute, and use a skein of Peace Fleece that I bought for the purpose months ago. Although the pale teal is a slightly odd color for me, the fact that the colorway is called "Lena's Meadow" seemed serendipitous, and was irresistible.

It's 9 pm. I'm gonna take the baby and fall over now - wish me luck on the baby sleep!

New Hotness

Last night, I finished the soft structured baby carrier I've been making. I already want to make another one, just to put into practice the things I learned making this one. Things like: don't second-guess the way the pattern tells you to attach the straps. If I'd done it the way the pattern said, I'd have saved myself a couple of hours' work. Oh, well, I never do do things the easy way first..

Since today was GORGEOUS (Oregon likes to tease its inhabitants with a taste of what spring could be like at this time of year), I got together with Bethany and another friend this morning to stroll around downtown and give the carrier a good test drive. It passes with flying colors! I carried the Infanta around for a good couple of hours, with both toddler-chasing and some easier strolling, and I was never uncomfortable. So yay! $30, a dip into the stash, and ~12 hours (that's a generous estimate, btw, I didn't count) work later, and I have a sweet carrier.

For your entertainment

For some reason, I had this scene from The Full Monty pop into my head a little while ago. It's one of my favorite scenes from the movie; please enjoy!

And the intarwebs provide

Go read hedra's gorgeous doula/birth story here. No, Bethany, I'm not trying to make your ovaries twitch worse.

Being Mama

...isn't all fun and games. As it were.

I have a regular weekly D&D night. A bunch of us get together down at the local game store and rent the private room so that we don't have try to compete with the anime club that meets there the same night. I have been bringing the Infanta and letting her crawl around and whatnot, but it's been requiring more and more attention from everyone in the group to keep her out of trouble - like, not letting her chew on everyone's laptop cords. It's really not fair to ask everyone to help me babysit, but I've been trying to ignore that so that I can get a little gaming in.

I've also been realizing recently that she's starting to turn into a toddler. I looked at her face the other day, and she's looking older, and not like even an older baby anymore, even though she's not quite walking (although cruising just fine, thankyouverymuch). She's also getting past the 8-9 month sleep regression, and wanting to be in bed by much earlier in the evening.

So near the end of last evening, after everyone's concerted efforts to keep my little teething cord maniac wrangled, I had to come to the conclusion that I'm going to have to quit going to D&D night. Although there were some noises made about bringing one of the games (we have two campaigns going) to our house so that I can continue to play, I'm not counting on that happening. I'm not very happy about this.

There are two main reasons I'm not happy:

1) I won't get to flex my gaming muscles. I've been a gamer for as long as I can remember; it's as much a part of my identity as being a knitter has become, and it kills me to not be able to have that part of my life active. It's especially bad when my husband gets to go and I don't! And no, I won't ask him to quit - that wouldn't be fair to him. For one thing, he needs to have things to do without me; I don't want to be one of those controlling spouses that never lets her partner do anything solo!

2) I'll be stuck home alone with the baby. But, you say, you're already a SAHM, what's a few hours more? Well, that's just the thing. I am home alone with the baby all day every day (unless I manage to drag us out somewhere - not that easy when I'm dependent on buses or rides from other people). By the evening, I'm tired and needing time for myself; whether it's to cook, shower, sew, or just do nothing, I need some non-baby time. If Daddy's not home, I don't get it. I actually managed to get a shower today while Daddy wasn't home for the first time in ten months!!! But that was only because I decided that the Infanta could be more or less trusted to play independently in the bathroom... and I only got about half my shower business done because she was done before I was.

I love my baby, and in the grand scheme of things, I'm willing to give up this particular adult activity while my children are little. For one thing, they won't be little forever; for another, I'll be able to pick up again when they're older. This doesn't mean I have to like it! But I think I understand better now why the gaming nights when I was a kid were always at our house.

All wrapped up

Went to the babywearing meeting today, and got helped into a yummy wrap. It's probably a good thing that I really can't afford one...

Check out the shop that one of our leaders runs: http://sweet-pickles.com/

No Foolin'

Sunday afternoon I was inspired to try out a diaper pattern I'd gotten at my local quilting store. I pulled out some receiving blankets that had never worked well for me (square > rectangle, just in case you're wondering) as well as a few of the microfiber washcloths I got last summer for just this sort of purpose.



Unfortunately, I turned out not to be able to cut more than one diaper out of a single blanket, but I figure I can use the scraps for moon pads.



Also, I probably wouldn't have had to use so many pins to get the topstitching looking good if I'd pressed it first. But it worked, and I didn't have to get out of my chair. :) Altogether, the project took probably an hour or an hour and a half; Josh wrangled the Infanta, and then we went over to Bethany's for dinner. The diaper? Works great, although I think I'll lengthen it a bit next time I make some.



I've been dressing the Infanta in jeans and dresses a lot lately. It's a cute, convenient and (I hope) comfortable combo. The above shot was taken Monday night, after she'd been at Bethany's in the afternoon - yay for baby-free time for Mama!



Then I watched the Hurricane in return for a couple of hours yesterday. This is how she insisted on being dressed: jeans, a dress, and shoes *with* socks. If she'd had Robeez, she would probably have insisted on wearing them. Oh, and she's got a new word - Socks! Can we say Best Friends Forever? Bethany and I are highly amused; on the other hand, I'm beginning to be afeared for fifteens years from now, when they start thinking about boys....